Housing question

Guys,

This one is totally off-topic to all things motorbike related (I know), but I wanted to get people's perspectives and any good advice from others.

Basically, I own a property (modern two bed apartment in Leicestershire), which myself and my ex wife are joint owners of, on deeds and mortgage. We broke up in 2014 and I have a son with her (he's 4 this year). We broke up due to personal differences, and it was an abusive relationship - but I grew a pair after over 8 years of it, and I pushed back the demands to go back with her. She turned into my worst nightmare (even more than when we were together), by destroying my mother's artwork (she passed away in November 2014), and never letting me see my son. I have been paying through the nose in child support since, because the DWP are relentlessly on her side, and she is receiving housing benefit to rent out from a private landlord.

Somehow, she had managed to close the joint account, forcing the mortgage into 4 months arrears (5 months before I could fix it). I had to work down in the south west, so didn't get to go to the property very often anymore. But as far as I knew the mortgage was still being paid in full - and then I returned to see the letters on the doorstep. I had to chuck every penny I had left at the lender to stop litigation and court action. I decided it would be best to rent the property out because she point blank refused to move back in or have anything to do with the apartment, which she is still joint liable. I had no choice about living there because I was working in the south west and having to back and forth to London regularly to look after my dad since my mum passed away - which also lead to more arguments over letting me visit to see my son.

Now, I totally have no contact with her, the mortgage product has gone back to default (costing me more per month), and I have no way to sort anything out.

I had to rent it out for the past 2 years to literally just pay the mortgage while I was out, but now that tenancy has come to an end, and I am on the brink of giving up. I don't want to make money off it, but in reality I want it sold and gone.

The whole way through, she has been trying to cripple me financially and puts her head in the sand in regards to responsibility for the property. She totally cut off all communication so I have no idea if my son is even alive and well. After all of this, I can't chuck any money at a solicitor and think the entire system is a mess. She's been able to get away with murder, when all I ever did to her was stand up to her and try to get away from the abuse. Now, I can't remove her name from the mortgage and deeds, I can't change the mortgage product, and I can't sell.

Can she claim housing benefit while she is in charge of a property that is effectively being rented out? She has never paid a penny into the mortgage, in fact she took tens of thousands out of the joint account before shutting it down.

I am trying to arrange to visit the CAB, but hopefully somebody has some advice.

Cheers guys.

Sorry to hear your troubles fella, There are companies that buy properties below market value, I dont know if this would be an option?

In regards to your ex, I've been there, wasted thousands on rubbish solicitors. I did however learn about a website called families need fathers.

Where I got loads of advise and even managed to get a Mckenzie Friend to help me prep legal paperwork and petition the courts.

Hope things go your way eventually.

I feel your pain!

I managed to buy my ex out without using solicitors etc.

but it wasn't easy and I had the advantage that we are still on speaking terms,

Good luck and keep your chin up

Cheers guys.

It seems like a worst case scenario with my ex, because she literally is the devil. To add salt to the wounds, she's gone and told CMS that I haven't paid child support, to the amount of 4k. And they have already dipped into one of my accounts and taken over 1k out without writing to me first. I now need to trawl through my banks to prove that she's had payment in full, each month.

One nail at a time she is sealing my coffin. It won't be long now if the DWP don't sort it

ugh the child support people are all evil. Think they must be entirely staffed by bitter women who hate men with a firey passion. Are they allowed to just take money??

I know you said you were looking to visit the CAB but have you called them?

Sounds like you need to start divorce proceedings ASAP. The courts will instruct a settlement whereby either you buy her out of the property, or they instruct that it be sold and they will decide how any equity will be split between you.

You can't get her to be reasonable so you have to let the courts decide.

They will also instruct that you get access to see your son.

Yeah, do it the proper way.. I heard of one guy who bought his wife out if the family home and thought that was the end of it. A year later she took him to court and won half the value of everything he owned... He had to sell the house to cover the debt...

So she got a cash payment for half the house then a year later she won half his assets which includes the half the house he'd bought off her already!!