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Trans confusion


MarkW
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One of the boys in my kids school has a father who is now his mother. I'm not sure how far he's gone with it - if he is transsexual or just transgender - but he is one of those blokes who thinks that in order to look like a woman you have to dress like cross between a clown and a hooker. He is about 6'4" and drives a road-planer, and when he's not in fishnets and a miniskirt he's in his work gear - steel toe-caps and hi-viz jacket - with his hair in bunches and day-glo bobbles. Imagine if Giant Haystacks popped into Anne Summers and Claire's Accessories, and you'd have the picture.


This bothers me not one jot: he seems like a nice enough bloke, and how he identifies and expresses himself is his own affair. When my two slightly perplexed boys asked me how a man can turn into a woman we had a sensible discussion about the difference between gender and sexuality, and that some people grow up to feel more comfortable identifying as something other than their biologiclal gender. So far so good.


However, on Friday his nine year old son was taken from classroom to classroom by a teacher, dressed in a girl's school uniform and with clips in his hair, to be introduced to everyone by his new girls name.


My ten year old came home and said "How can a nine year old think they are a girl before they've even properly understood what being a boy is? In art class I like knitting, but I know that doesn't make me a girl."


I'm trying not to be judgemental, or to say anything un-PC, but I can't help thinking that far from indulging this sort of thing the school would have been better off referring it to Social Services. As my kids are both boys they couldn't care less if he/she gets changed for PE with them or not, but the parents of girls who don't want him/her in with them are already up in arms.


:roll:

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Fook the pc brigade , he’s got a mental problem and his son is well on his way .

 

This is my problem: no matter how trendy and middle class I try to be about it I can't help thinking that this is the nub of the matter. His son certainly has some significant behavioural issues, but I think everyone had put that down to his unusual home situation.


I also can't quite shake the feeling that this current trend for being 'trans' or 'non-binary' is at least partly due to the fact that being gay/lesbian/bisexual is now all a bit passé.

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This will likely be unpopular but the ‘gender dysphoria’ which is unhappiness with your assigned sex or gender usually occurs at a young age and the psychological damage and stress it causes to the child can be devastating causing life long problems.

Trans children who are able to transition early and are accepted and supported in their choices fair much better.

I’m sure you’ve heard someone saying they always knew.


The teachers will have already been in touch with the GP etc to find out if it’s legit. Being introduced by the teacher will help stop any bullying which will occur because the adults who think sexuality is fixed and fear things they don’t understand will pass on vile comments and attitudes to their children.


Marks son knows liking knitting doesn’t make him a girl and we’re all happy to accept this because it conforms but this other little boy feels strongly enough he’s not, strongly enough to risk having a hard time. He will be having constant psychiatric assessment or this wouldn’t be happening.


If its just a child that wants to be a girl, they should get over their parochial selves. This isn’t someone who’s going to start leaping all over their daughters.


If his issues are deeper due to his unusual background then poor sod, I hope everyone can behave themselves.

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I’ve got no problem with how people live there lives, if they want to walk round like a cross between and clown and a hooker ( brilliant description :lol: ) that’s up to them , but what gets me is it’s in your face all the time now , how can you not laugh at something that looks like clown a crossed with a hooker .

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This will likely be unpopular but the ‘gender dysphoria’ which is unhappiness with your assigned sex or gender usually occurs at a young age and the psychological damage and stress it causes to the child can be devastating causing life long problems.

Trans children who are able to transition early and are accepted and supported in their choices fair much better.

I’m sure you’ve heard someone saying they always knew.


The teachers will have already been in touch with the GP etc to find out if it’s legit. Being introduced by the teacher will help stop any bullying which will occur because the adults who think sexuality is fixed and fear things they don’t understand will pass on vile comments and attitudes to their children.


Marks son knows liking knitting doesn’t make him a girl and we’re all happy to accept this because it conforms but this other little boy feels strongly enough he’s not, strongly enough to risk having a hard time. He will be having constant psychiatric assessment or this wouldn’t be happening.


If its just a child that wants to be a girl, they should get over their parochial selves. This isn’t someone who’s going to start leaping all over their daughters.


If his issues are deeper due to his unusual background then poor sod, I hope everyone can behave themselves.

 


...

798B8895-FC70-402E-B3EF-04DCAA1ECFA5.jpeg.d451f7568457abdd69c364a5ee7a0117.jpeg

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I'm fine with adults deciding they'd rather be a woman than a man, or vice versa, but how do you know at nine years of age that you'd rather be a girl than a boy? You don't even know what it is to be male at nine, let alone that being female would suit you better. I can't help thinking this is his father's (err... mother's) idea.


And where's Painkiller when you need his expertise? :lol:

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This will likely be unpopular but the ‘gender dysphoria’ which is unhappiness with your assigned sex or gender usually occurs at a young age and the psychological damage and stress it causes to the child can be devastating causing life long problems.

Trans children who are able to transition early and are accepted and supported in their choices fair much better.

I’m sure you’ve heard someone saying they always knew.


The teachers will have already been in touch with the GP etc to find out if it’s legit. Being introduced by the teacher will help stop any bullying which will occur because the adults who think sexuality is fixed and fear things they don’t understand will pass on vile comments and attitudes to their children.


Marks son knows liking knitting doesn’t make him a girl and we’re all happy to accept this because it conforms but this other little boy feels strongly enough he’s not, strongly enough to risk having a hard time. He will be having constant psychiatric assessment or this wouldn’t be happening.


If its just a child that wants to be a girl, they should get over their parochial selves. This isn’t someone who’s going to start leaping all over their daughters.


If his issues are deeper due to his unusual background then poor sod, I hope everyone can behave themselves.

 


...

 

Is that your Saturday night out clobber? :D

Putting a pic of a obese man in a grotesque outfit with that message is pointless. It’s the same scaremongering crapola they used to say about gay men. The reality is children are most at risk from Jackson action from another family member.


[mention]MarkW[/mention] well it does arouse suspicion doesn’t it but then when do any of us know anything. I imagine his fathers influence on his decision will have been looked at in some detail. There are indicators that there is a biological element to all this.



If you read up on trans you’ll find the majority saying they either knew or had strong feelings from a young age. The suicide rate, the levels of addiction, poor access to health care and discrimination are the norm and all the evidence is currently pointing in the direction of better mental health when it’s accepted by everyone early and the trans kid has his or her choices supported.

After all there’s no reason why he can’t change his mind later and decide to be a boy again (well before the snip plip that is).

If folk weren’t so paranoid about anything to do with sexuality no-one would give two hoots.

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The boy needs to be told if he still feels that way when he's 16 he can then change his sex etc. He's definitely been influenced by his dad.

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I used to enjoy looking at the women's underwear section of the Kays catalogue when I was a kid. What does that make me? NO NO NO, please don't answer! :lol:

 

Ah yes, the underwear section of a Kay's or Grattan catalogue , an essential part of any healthy boy's education in an age before the internet. What does that make you ? Well I'd like to say NORMAL , but even that word is banned now .

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I used to enjoy looking at the women's underwear section of the Kays catalogue when I was a kid. What does that make me? NO NO NO, please don't answer! :lol:

 

When me and my mates aged in our early teens, came across some boxes of leaflets just dumped on some waste ground, they were advertising Triton showers, needless to say the pictures were very high quality, there were several different models of showers and cubicles, and each depicted a very shapely lady, none of which left anything for the imagination, everything was there to be admired, we came to a decision and all agreed that we could not be selfish and keep these to ourselves, so we took them home and shared them out between us, and distributed them whilst doing our paper rounds :angel12:

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One of the boys in my kids school has a father who is now his mother. I'm not sure how far he's gone with it - if he is transsexual or just transgender - but he is one of those blokes who thinks that in order to look like a woman you have to dress like cross between a clown and a hooker. He is about 6'4" and drives a road-planer, and when he's not in fishnets and a miniskirt he's in his work gear - steel toe-caps and hi-viz jacket - with his hair in bunches and day-glo bobbles. Imagine if Giant Haystacks popped into Anne Summers and Claire's Accessories, and you'd have the picture.

 

I’ve got no problem with how people live there lives, if they want to walk round like a cross between and clown and a hooker ( brilliant description :lol: ) that’s up to them , but what gets me is it’s in your face all the time now , how can you not laugh at something that looks like clown a crossed with a hooker .

 

Just to add in a little comment here.


The current check-boxes processes in place for transition, of either FtM or MtF have some serious issues as it stands at the moment.

One of the key requirements, set by the government, for someone who wants to transition is that they must 'live the lifestyle' for a set amount of time (normally around two years) before they are considered to be serious enough; much like [mention]Slowlycatchymonkey[/mention] mentioned with the son. This is not a Whim decision which is just accepted by schools, places of work etc.


For those wishing to transition to being a female they have to "Look the part", which includes the get up you've described, else their application for driving licence change etc is thrown out. This includes regular meeting with a panel who judge how closely you're adhering to these standards.


I will keep this vague but I know someone going through this, they have never wanted to be the kind of woman who always has painted nails, wears a skirt and heels etc. but they HAVE to dress like this otherwise their status will not be recognised, in anyway.

This to me is utterly ridiculous and only adds to the ridicule the person will likely face, which leads on to them being less likely for people to accept them as their gender. To those who won't want to read to the end of this comment, it's only going to reinforce their views and disgust.


I know SO many women who do not like skirts / dressed, never paint their nails, wear barely any make up etc etc... These women would not be considered women by the government under these rules.


Hope this helps [mention]MarkW[/mention] .

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I think this is a good part of what concerns people in this particular case: there is no attempt whatsoever on his part to look like a real woman, just like a grotesque caricature of one. If he made a genuine effort to look feminine, say by shaving his legs or wearing normal women's clothes, they would be more likely to perceive him as someone in genuine transition. As it is, he turns up in what is essentially fetish wear (fishnet stockings, a miniskirt that if it were any shorter would be a belt, PVC boob-tube and what Germaine Greer would call "f*ck-me shoes") having made about as much effort to disguise his essential masculinity as Les Dawson did in those Cissy and Ada sketches. Rightly or wrongly people then make the assumption that he is a pervert or at least a fetishist, rather than a genuine member of the trans community.


He has been dressing this way for at least two years to my knowledge, and I haven't heard any parent in the playground making derogatory comments or sniggering (although of course this doesn't mean they weren't) and I don't think most people give two hoots how he chooses to live his life. What has caused the current concern is that the nine year old son of a man who dresses as a vulgar and overtly sexualised woman now appears to be dressing as a girl too, and questions are being asked about the extent to which this is free will or coercion.


As I said at the outset, describing the father's behaviour to my kids was easy and they could understand it, but they can't understand someone who at nine still has so little experience of being a boy knowing that they want to be a girl.

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Interesting that feminine is often defined as shaving body hair and wearing "normal women's clothes" (whatever those are).

 

You're looking at it the wrong way: it isn't that you have to shave and wear certain clothes to be feminine, it's that if you have legs like a gorilla and wear clothes only seen on a sex shop mannequin, 'feminine' is not the word that would leap most readily to mind.

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No, what you've just posted hasn't made me think I'm looking at it the wrong way.


Feminine here is being defined as a lack of body hair, which is more a societal norm that people are (as proven by your post) expected to conform to.

 

Are there many women with hairy chests in your part of the world? :D

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