Grin Factor

Feel a bit cheeky really, but ... Oh what the heck! Well you know about the book thing? So here goes! I look at it as a bit of a treat for you guys, a bit of a taster. This is a sample chapter from my book, 2nd year into motorcycling and this is what does it for me;

Hope you enjoy! Any comments, thoughts (good or bad) will be very welcome, Cheers!

Grin Factor

I kept on reading the weekly Motorcycle News with growing interest and was intrigued as time after time the test riders of new and old bikes kept referring to a “Grin Factor” And how many revs could be gained before the rev limiter kicked in. It wasn’t until the following year that I discovered this “Grin Factor.”

After a very wary first year into my biking world I was a little bit bolder in my second year. After what seemed an eternal winter, the days passed and they started to get a little warmer and a little lighter. The flowers began to emerge from the drying earth and the trees started to dress themselves with a new set of leaves for the coming season, the sound of hedge trimmers and lawn mowers droned on at the weekend with the smell of fresh cut grass hanging in the warm air. Then there’s the sound of infectious laughter which makes you smile that is accompanied by the aroma of burgers and sausages being cremated over some glowing coals, the barbeque sending smoke signals over the fences and hedges. Along with myself, bikers seemed to emerge like the spring blooms taking advantage of the good weather and drier climate.

As with my first year I was taking it steady heeding the advice from one of the writers of Motorcycle News stating that you will not be as fast as you were last year and you should build up your riding speed and skills step by step. I adhered to the good advice and soon got up to speed. With a growing confidence and me basically getting used to the power and characteristics of my machine I was soon tearing the throttle back with my right hand racing up through the gears, the engine roaring and rumbling for a few seconds before winding up into a crescendo of a higher pitched whine before it all started again as I notched up yet another gear. The rev counter bouncing up and down like a one sided see-saw. Quickly on the rise before touching the illustrious red line before dropping down to begin the cycle over again, as the boy racer in his souped up Vauxhall Corsa disappeared in my mirrors. Most of the time my face donning a massive grin from ear to ear.

‘Ah! This is the grin factor!’ I said to myself. I was always sensible when out and I stress that I only rode like this when the roads were clear, dry and traffic was at a minimum. As for filtering, confidence was getting much better the more I rode and I was soon passing cars and bikes for that matter. I was totally immersed in the pleasure of what my bike brought to me, thriving on the feeling of freedom. Generally you can talk to bikers and ask them,

‘What it is about bikes and biking?’ most will answer; that it brings you a freedom. Not being stuck in traffic, especially on hot Bank Holidays! Yes most modern cars may have creature comforts like air con and climate control, but with heavy traffic volumes you are still stuck with nowhere to go! On a bike you may only be travelling at four or five miles an hour, but you are still making progress and you don’t need the luxury of air con when the sun is shining.

Some. Not all, but some car drivers do not seem to like this advantage us bikers have and try to block your way by pulling into your path trying to stop you from moving ahead, but I have learned with time to go round them when the road is clear leaving them with their pent up frustration in their hot environment. Some bikers will tell you that they just get out on their bikes to clear their heads. People with really busy, hectic high-pressured jobs and lives can “Escape” for a few hours on their bike. You really have to have your wits about you when on the road and concentration levels have to be at the maximum. As a consequence they have their minds so focused on their riding while trying to take in the surroundings they have little thought for anything else and this can be a fantastic form of therapy. There are many other differing reasons among bikers who do have their own personal motives, but like I say the one underlining common reason is the experience of freedom.

Also it’s on a parallel to sex! Think about it! From the moment you wheel your pride and joy carefully out from the safe surroundings of the garage with a knowing smile upon your face, as you know what you are about to embark on. Giving it a quick polish with a soft rag that is close to hand, this is just the beginning, the foreplay, pulling on your leathers, gloves and helmet before you slide your leg over the seat and thumb the starter switch. The engine fires up first time, the deep burbling sound coming from the exhaust fills your ears, the slight vibration filters through the handle bars, you feel the buzz already, the smile spreads across your face, oh yes your juices are just beginning to flow.

You check your mirrors, select first gear then guide yourself out of the drive into the street then head off for… Anywhere, it doesn’t really matter. You are completely at one with your bike almost in a state of nirvana, similar to you and your partner as nothing else in the world matters. You arrive at one of your favourite roads. You approach a bend, a right-hander, you lean your bike over into the corner as far as you dare. You reach the apex and then as you stand the bike up you accelerate hard, then into the next one, a sharp left-hander. Flicking the bike over onto its side as the tyres grip the warm tarmac, again you reach the apex, wind on the throttle as you stand the bike up exiting the bend smiling at the cool sound of the exhaust note.

Bodies together as one. The sparks now flying, literally, both of your bodies tight, the hero blobs underneath your foot pegs getting smaller as the tiny glowing bits of metal fly off into the air. You smile. You think of nothing else while you’re locked together in passion. All the poverty, all the crime, all the evil things in the world that we all turn a blind eye to until we are confronted with it on the news and in the papers about child molesters, rapists, murderers and terrorists. You look ahead as the dry road stretches out in front of you; a little traffic ahead slows you down. A bus carrying its passengers off somewhere on this warm sunny day, a car pulling a caravan followed by other frustrated drivers in the heat of the mid afternoon sunshine. This doesn’t matter to you, you just look ahead, you’re happy, drawn to the stretching road like a moth is to the bright light in the dark.

You wait patiently for a gap in the oncoming traffic. Bodies still entwined. You check your mirrors and you look ahead once more. You’re getting ready, concentration at the max, the road is clear, and in one clean smooth action you slip the clutch while you blip the throttle and knock the gear lever down one for the instant power that’s on tap. One final check over the shoulder as you flick on the indicator, then you pull out onto the opposite side of the road to overtake the traffic that’s been slowing your progress. Winding on the throttle as the engine roars loudly with glee… Then suddenly a tractor appears from a junction way down the road, it turns onto the side of the road you are hurtling down and it’s heading straight towards you. The intensity increases between two bodies. You steal a quick glance ahead to see how many more cars you can overtake comfortably as you’re accelerating past the bus. Your mind buzzing, quickly conveying the information your eyes gather before feeding it up to your brain, all in a fraction of a second, four cars plus the one towing the caravan.

‘Come on baby you can do it,’ you say quietly to your machine. You’re flying past the first, then the second. You squeeze the petrol tank in with your legs as you coax more speed from the revving engine; the bike now accelerates at an awesome speed. You pass the third car, then the fourth, again you whisper to your machine, urging it on through clenched teeth, “Come on baby! Come on!” Only the caravan and car left to negotiate now. The tractor growing in size very quickly, the driver flashes his lights at you as his slow moving workhorse gets bigger and bigger as you’re rapidly advancing towards it at a high speed. Head on. Engine now screaming, you shoot past the car towing the caravan in its wake adrenalin pumping furiously in unison with your heartbeat.

You scream out loud, you make it with a few seconds to spare, then as your bodies are still entwined you climax, temporarily exhausted, you laugh a nervous laugh, you’re in a slight state of euphoria, again as one. On the home front you don’t worry about the kids tea, what you need from the local supermarket this week, the credit card bill that’s over due, that letter that needs posting. You pull back in onto the right side of the road; change up a gear and after the brief adrenalin rush of the speed tinged with a little danger, the grin factor cranked up full. Then along with all the bad things in the world just like the cars, tractors and caravans they all just simply disappear. You and your machine knit tightly together taking off on the empty road.

That is where the parallel ends though, because after you orgasm and the thin film of sweat that has been covering your body begins to feel cold against your skin you quickly drift back into the real world. Whereas on the bike that is just one brief moment filled with all that excitement and you ride off ahead waiting for the next one. And obviously being out on your bike lasts a little bit, longer than sex!!

Copyright © Gavin S. Pickup

Ooo the last 2 paragraphs are like summat out of Mills and Boon lol

Cheers!!

I know Vicki, that's where it went from WOW to Good for me!

'tis good though, and that's coming from a reet cynical get like me!

And a writer too (when I can be bothered!)

Good on yer matey, keep it up!

I liked it.

I would agree with Sheep_Hog to a degree though ....

There are obvious correlations between sex and biking, but trying to draw the analogy in a book is a very precarious art...

But off the top of my head, I can't think of an alternative...

On the other hand, writing is an art form. It necessitates balancing what you want to write, against what is commerically viable ... Artie-fartie types would tell you to write from the soul, which I think is what you've done....

But thats the only bit I wasn't sure about...

I'll have to read it again when I have more time

I know there's a section in "Long Way Round" that describes how Euan MaGregor and Charlie Boorman got into bikes and biking, which had me nodding in agreement at time and nigh-on pi$$ing myself laughing at others.

It really hit the nail on the head.

You're right, absolutely right about the analogy though. Biking and sex have a lot more in common than any non-biker could ever imagine and I for one would love to have a stab at making the comparison on paper.

In fact, I rather think I might!

To misquote a few lines from the Rush track "Red Barchetta", I like to think of it like this:

"Helmet and leathers,

hot metal and oil,

the scented country air.

Sunlight on chrome,

the blur of the landscape,

every nerve aware"

I know, the song is actually about a car, but I'm sure you catch my drift!

The words from Richard Thompson's " 1952 Vincent Black Lightning" song are great ....

No time to lake about now ... But the lyrics are on the net somewhere - I've got them on my wall ....

If I remember, I'll edit this and wack them up here when I have time ...

I voted good, to be honest I was torn between that and mmmm not bad.

I hope you put this on wanting some honest answers, if not I apologise.

I thought it was overly " flowery", too much description. I enjoyed it but I am a biker, I'm not sure non bikers would have .

I commend you for trying and wish you every success.

No Ian that's cool

This is only a small chapter and I've tried getting over what it is about biking and why we choose two wheels, everyone can relate to sex so that's the road I went down.

Cheers for your comments!

More the point.....you type`d all that Off to read it now

ps can i miss out any big words