Your worst joke!!!

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Bhawk
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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#946 Post by Bhawk » Thu May 31, 2018 12:16 am

I know I know...i need to seek help... but it's funny
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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#947 Post by Bhawk » Thu May 31, 2018 8:19 am

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me darlin' wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best Toast of The night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep”.

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Bhawk
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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#948 Post by Bhawk » Sun Jun 03, 2018 2:56 am

A couple more for those of us with bad taste
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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#949 Post by Bhawk » Tue Jun 05, 2018 9:22 pm

Englishman: "That your dog?"
Welshman: "Yep."
Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?"
Welshman: "Dog dont talk But."
Englishman: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Welshman: (Look of shock!)
Englishman: "Is this Welshman your owner?" (Pointing at the Welshman)
Dog: "Yep."
Englishman: "How's he treating you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Welshman: (Look of total disbelief)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Welshman: "Horse dont talk but."
Englishman: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Welshman: (Extreme look of shock!)
Englishman: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the welshman)
Horse: "Yep."
Englishman: "How's he treating you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the weather."
Welshman: (Look of total amazement)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Welshman: "That sheeps a f**k liar bud!!"

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Bhawk
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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#950 Post by Bhawk » Wed Jun 06, 2018 11:30 am

A couple more for you
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Six30
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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#951 Post by Six30 » Fri Jun 08, 2018 8:44 pm

.....
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"People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."

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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#952 Post by Six30 » Sat Jun 09, 2018 2:41 pm

.....
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"People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."

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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#953 Post by puggybear » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:20 pm

Can someone please explain to me,using short words,which PRAT decided aftershave should sting?!?!?!?

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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#954 Post by puggybear » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:25 pm

At the moment,I'm reading ''Under Milk Wood'',which as you'll all know is a classic novel.
BUT - [pauses for effect] ... I'm reading it in it's original Welsh!

Yes - you guessed...it's the Dai Version!

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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#955 Post by Six30 » Wed Jun 13, 2018 6:19 am

....
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"People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."

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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#956 Post by Six30 » Wed Jun 13, 2018 12:53 pm

....
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"People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."

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puggybear
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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#957 Post by puggybear » Thu Jun 14, 2018 8:09 pm

Y'know,I can still remember my first girlfriend,and being invited to stay overnight at her parents house.
Unfortunately,her dad point-blank refused to let us sleep together.

...which was a shame,as he was a real looker.

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Bhawk
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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#958 Post by Bhawk » Fri Jun 15, 2018 6:20 am

good ol' paddy and murphy
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