Your worst joke!!!

Place your funny or entertaining, stories, videos, jokes and pictures here.
Message
Author
User avatar
Bender
Posts: 1550
Joined: Fri Apr 21, 2017 6:22 pm
Gender: Male
Has Liked: 227 times
Been Liked: 640 times

Re: Your worst joke!!!

#1036 Post by Bender » Sat Nov 24, 2018 7:22 pm

Six30 wrote:
Sat Nov 24, 2018 6:47 pm
...
Good job he didn't mention mohamad he would have been fooked
Bite my shiny, metal ass!

User avatar
Mickly
Posts: 521
Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2018 7:32 pm
Gender: Male
Bike(s): 15my Speed Triple / 1994 1200 triumph Trophy
Location: Coventry
Challenge Score: 450
Has Liked: 92 times
Been Liked: 253 times

Re: Your worst joke!!!

#1037 Post by Mickly » Fri Nov 30, 2018 7:35 pm

Just flicking through the Sky guide and found this .... well before the 9 O’clock watershed.... I will be writing to my MP, although they are probably the star !!
99C3DE74-B796-4327-A7F4-883AAF90AB8F.jpeg
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
10/10 Pubs
10/10 SW
10/10 Midlands

User avatar
Joeman
Posts: 11295
Joined: Mon May 28, 2012 2:25 pm
Gender: Male
Bike(s): BMW S1000RR, KTM300.. etc
Location: Sevenoaks, UK
Has Liked: 1679 times
Been Liked: 1477 times

Re: Your worst joke!!!

#1038 Post by Joeman » Sun Dec 02, 2018 7:31 am

IMG_20181202_071703.jpg
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Image

User avatar
SometimesSansEngine
Posts: 449
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 11:31 pm
Bike(s): Kawasaki ER6F
Location: Somerset
Has Liked: 142 times
Been Liked: 228 times

Re: Your worst joke!!!

#1039 Post by SometimesSansEngine » Thu Dec 06, 2018 7:25 pm

FB_IMG_1544124227102.jpg
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.

User avatar
Six30
Wannabe MOD
Posts: 5015
Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2014 10:48 am
Gender: Male
Bike(s): Triump Speed Triple r
Location: In Rennies wardrobe
Has Liked: 1125 times
Been Liked: 1985 times

Re: Your worst joke!!!

#1040 Post by Six30 » Sat Dec 08, 2018 9:38 am

...
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
"People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."

User avatar
Tango
Moderator
Posts: 14469
Joined: Sat May 21, 2011 10:54 am
Gender: Male
Bike(s): Triumph Speed Triple 1050, CB750 Project bike
Location: Huntingdon, Cambs
Has Liked: 1496 times
Been Liked: 1107 times

Re: Your worst joke!!!

#1041 Post by Tango » Sat Dec 08, 2018 11:40 am

FB_IMG_1544267890866.jpg
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
I feel the need....the need for Speed......Triple

User avatar
Slowlycatchymonkey
Posts: 1974
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2018 10:49 am
Bike(s): Hilts Mutt, r ninet
Location: Somerset
Challenge Score: 70
Has Liked: 567 times
Been Liked: 646 times

Re: Your worst joke!!!

#1042 Post by Slowlycatchymonkey » Sat Dec 08, 2018 12:30 pm

To all you decent men out there these jokes arent aimed at you, just the minority morons who think women shouldnt have equality because men are often physically stronger than women- true caveman logic that is.
I would make a joke about men being generally mentally weaker than women, mens fragility is well reflected in the suicide stats but of course that would be considered in bad taste. Woman bashing however is by some considered fine so this my fine lumps of knuckle dragging neanderthal is for you.

Q. What do a balloon and a man have in common?
A. One small prick ruins them.

Q. Why did god even create men?
A. Because he couldn’t figure out how to make a vibrator mow the lawn.

Q. Why does the average woman reportedly want beauty more than brains?
A. Because the average man can see so much better than he thinks.

Q. What do you call a man who’s lost 95% of his intelligence?
A. Divorced
2018 BMW R nineT
“It’s shit. And as soon as I get home I’m going to buy one.”
That was a fellow journalist’s first impression of the BMW R nineT recently. It’s a pretty accurate summary; the R nineT is somewhat ill-mannered by modern motorcycle standards but also instantly, inarguably, infatuatingly wonderful.

User avatar
Six30
Wannabe MOD
Posts: 5015
Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2014 10:48 am
Gender: Male
Bike(s): Triump Speed Triple r
Location: In Rennies wardrobe
Has Liked: 1125 times
Been Liked: 1985 times

Re: Your worst joke!!!

#1043 Post by Six30 » Sat Dec 08, 2018 12:34 pm

To all the women out there decent or not this is for you .... enjoy :D


A husband shopping center has just opened in Vilnius where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men.

The store is comprised of six floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch.

As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last
boyfriend but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 You are visitor number 123,456,789,012,345,678 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping Husband Mart and have a nice day.
"People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."

User avatar
Slowlycatchymonkey
Posts: 1974
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2018 10:49 am
Bike(s): Hilts Mutt, r ninet
Location: Somerset
Challenge Score: 70
Has Liked: 567 times
Been Liked: 646 times

Re: Your worst joke!!!

#1044 Post by Slowlycatchymonkey » Sat Dec 08, 2018 12:40 pm

Six30 wrote:
Sat Dec 08, 2018 12:34 pm
To all the women out there decent or not this is for you .... enjoy :D


A husband shopping center has just opened in Vilnius where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men.

The store is comprised of six floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch.

As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last
boyfriend but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 You are visitor number 123,456,789,012,345,678 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping Husband Mart and have a nice day.
Which floor are you waiting on @Six30 or do most women choose not to go down to the basement?
2018 BMW R nineT
“It’s shit. And as soon as I get home I’m going to buy one.”
That was a fellow journalist’s first impression of the BMW R nineT recently. It’s a pretty accurate summary; the R nineT is somewhat ill-mannered by modern motorcycle standards but also instantly, inarguably, infatuatingly wonderful.

User avatar
Six30
Wannabe MOD
Posts: 5015
Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2014 10:48 am
Gender: Male
Bike(s): Triump Speed Triple r
Location: In Rennies wardrobe
Has Liked: 1125 times
Been Liked: 1985 times

Re: Your worst joke!!!

#1045 Post by Six30 » Sat Dec 08, 2018 1:30 pm

Yeh I am in the basement , a few come down ... they don’t come back out though .
"People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."

User avatar
Via
Posts: 838
Joined: Tue Apr 19, 2016 6:35 pm
Gender: Male
Bike(s): Sinnis Max II / ER5
Location: Kent
Has Liked: 530 times
Been Liked: 371 times

Re: Your worst joke!!!

#1046 Post by Via » Sat Dec 08, 2018 2:24 pm

Slowlycatchymonkey wrote:
Sat Dec 08, 2018 12:30 pm
Q. What do you call a man who’s lost 95% of his intelligence money?
A. Divorced
Fixed it for you :thumb:
Hoggs wrote:
Fri Jul 27, 2018 7:21 pm
I agree totally with @Slowlycatchymonkey

User avatar
Bhawk
Posts: 298
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2016 5:09 am
Gender: Male
Bike(s): yamaha yzf600r thundercat
Location: County Durham
Has Liked: 110 times
Been Liked: 154 times

Re: Your worst joke!!!

#1047 Post by Bhawk » Sun Dec 09, 2018 3:27 am

A few more
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.

User avatar
Bhawk
Posts: 298
Joined: Mon Aug 15, 2016 5:09 am
Gender: Male
Bike(s): yamaha yzf600r thundercat
Location: County Durham
Has Liked: 110 times
Been Liked: 154 times

Re: Your worst joke!!!

#1048 Post by Bhawk » Sun Dec 09, 2018 3:38 am

Quick question, how dark is too dark for this forum, I have some amazing, if evil, memes haha
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.

User avatar
Six30
Wannabe MOD
Posts: 5015
Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2014 10:48 am
Gender: Male
Bike(s): Triump Speed Triple r
Location: In Rennies wardrobe
Has Liked: 1125 times
Been Liked: 1985 times

Re: Your worst joke!!!

#1049 Post by Six30 » Sun Dec 09, 2018 9:49 am

...
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
"People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."