Smithers Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerontious Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar.The Englishman wanted to go so they all had to leave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bender Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar.The Englishman wanted to go so they all had to leave. That's a bit racist, what about the Welsh where we're they, we're they all home putting out fires and chasing sheep? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Fro Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar.The Englishman wanted to go so they all had to leave. That's a bit racist, what about the Welsh where we're they, we're they all home putting out fires and chasing sheep? I feel someone should be offended by that and flounce. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bender Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar.The Englishman wanted to go so they all had to leave. That's a bit racist, what about the Welsh where we're they, we're they all home putting out fires and chasing sheep? I feel someone should be offended by that and flounce. But I left out the bit about being to busy filling out benefits claims. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Fro Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 But I left out the bit about being to busy filling out benefits claims. And 8 pages of bollocks about biscuits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bender Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 But I left out the bit about being to busy filling out benefits claims. And 8 pages of bollocks about biscuits. Why does every thread turn to biscuits now look what you've done Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Fro Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 Why does every thread turn to biscuits now look what you've done ... Shit...Sorry all... carry on... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skyrider Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 nothing wrong with biscuits Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggs Posted April 10, 2019 Share Posted April 10, 2019 An Admiral visited one of the ships of the line under his command. While eating breakfast with the crew he was impressed to see the Naval insignia stamped on every biscuit.He went to the Chief cook to ask how this feat was done, so it could be used on other ships under his command.>The Chief replied, "I'd be glad to share that with you, Admiral. After each biscuit is cut, I just slap it here against my belt buckle which bears the Navy insignia.Horrified the Admiral exclaims, "That's very unhygienic!"The Chief shrugs and replies, "Well, If that’s the way you feel, sir, I suggest you avoid the donuts." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerontious Posted April 11, 2019 Share Posted April 11, 2019 Why does Britain like Tea so much?Because Tea Leaves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted April 11, 2019 Share Posted April 11, 2019 ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old-timer Posted April 12, 2019 Share Posted April 12, 2019 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted April 18, 2019 Share Posted April 18, 2019 I need to Re-Home a Dog..It's a Small Terrier and tends to Bark a Lot..If your interested, just let me know..???And I'll jump over next Door's Fence and get the little f*cker for you..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smithers Posted April 18, 2019 Share Posted April 18, 2019 I need to Re-Home a Dog..It's a Small Terrier and tends to Bark a Lot..If your interested, just let me know..???And I'll jump over next Door's Fence and get the little f*cker for you..... So you're taking the title of this thread literally then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smithers Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 (edited) Topical;Who nailed Jesus to the cross? (see below for answer).A man and his Black and Decker! Merry Easter Edited April 20, 2019 by Smithers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bender Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 Safe to say you didn't nail that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 Topical;Who nailed Jesus to the cross? (see below for answer).A man and his Black and Decker! Merry Easter And you say mine was bad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smithers Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 [mention]Stu[/mention] Yeah but, I'm still not in the same league as you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 [mention]Smithers[/mention] with jokes like that you never will be Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trumpey Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 I was thinking of buying a fan for my bedroom today but then I decided not to. It's hard enough to sleep in this heat without some halfwit standing in the corner cheering me on as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old-timer Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 "Hit me, hit me", begged the masochist."No", the sadist replied. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 Sheila, the Aussie housewife got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped, did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce, Bruce!", she yelled. Bruce came running in. 'Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor with my fanny ' she said. 'Crikey!' Bruce said and tried to pull her up. 'You're stuck fast girl. I'll go across the road and get Frank. They came back and they both tried to pull her up. 'No way. We can't do it, let's try Plan B.' Frank said. 'Plan B?' exclaimed Bruce. 'What's that'? I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we can break the tiles under her and release the vacuum.' replied Frank. 'Spot on' Bruce said. 'While you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her tits.'' Play with her tits'? Frank said, 'Not exactly a good time for that mate?' 'No' Bruce replied, 'But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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