Your worst joke!!!

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Bigsime
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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#646 Post by Bigsime » Tue May 16, 2017 4:52 pm

The M1 and the M25 sitting in a pub having a drink when the door bursts open and in walks a tall thin strip of tarmac pushing chairs and tables out of the way, The M1 says to the M25 what ever you do don't say anything to him he's big trouble the M25 says why? the M1 replies he's a circlepath.

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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#647 Post by Bigsime » Tue May 16, 2017 4:52 pm

The M1 and the M25 sitting in a pub having a drink when the door bursts open and in walks a tall thin strip of tarmac pushing chairs and tables out of the way, The M1 says to the M25 what ever you do don't say anything to him he's big trouble the M25 says why? the M1 replies he's a circlepath.

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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#648 Post by geofferz » Wed May 17, 2017 1:07 pm

Bigsime wrote:The M1 and the M25 sitting in a pub having a drink when the door bursts open and in walks a tall thin strip of tarmac pushing chairs and tables out of the way, The M1 says to the M25 what ever you do don't say anything to him he's big trouble the M25 says why? the M1 replies he's a circlepath.
I know it as a bit of tarmac and his mate having a drink and a piece of red tarmac comes in all angry. He's a cyclepath.

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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#649 Post by Bigsime » Fri May 19, 2017 10:39 am

ye sorry predictive spelling isn't that good on my phone :oops:

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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#650 Post by Stu » Sun May 21, 2017 11:21 pm

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Don't steal!.... the government hates competition!!!

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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#651 Post by Mawsley » Fri Jun 02, 2017 7:24 pm

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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#652 Post by Stu » Fri Jun 02, 2017 10:18 pm

summed up nicely :lol:

phpBB [media]


sound is a must :lol:
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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#653 Post by Stu » Fri Jun 09, 2017 8:26 am

Dyslexic Cinderella!!

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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#654 Post by Mawsley » Mon Jun 12, 2017 7:55 pm

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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#655 Post by Picollus » Tue Jun 13, 2017 11:54 pm

A man was sent to Hell for his sins. As he was being taken to his place of eternal torment, he saw a lawyer making passionate love to a beautiful woman. "What a ripoff," the man muttered. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman." Jabbing the man with his pitchfork, the escorting Satan snarled, "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"
Motorbike maketh the man.(And woman!)

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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#656 Post by Stu » Thu Jun 15, 2017 3:56 pm

A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman"

She started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by email lately."

Later that day, the blonde teenager came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the startled husband asked.

"Yes, she replied, and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a $10.00 tip.






“And, by the way," the teenager added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."
Don't steal!.... the government hates competition!!!

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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#657 Post by Six30 » Fri Jun 16, 2017 2:35 pm

The police came to my door today holding a picture of my wife. 'Is this your wife sir?' the copper asked. 'Yes' I answered. I'm afraid it looks like shes been run over by a bus' he said. 'I know, but she takes it up the arse and is great with the kids ".
"People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."

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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#658 Post by Baldrick » Mon Jun 19, 2017 8:18 pm

Son: Why is my sister called Teresa?
Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram
Son: Thanks dad
Dad: No problem Alan

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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#659 Post by Mawsley » Wed Jun 21, 2017 11:28 am

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Re: Your worst joke!!!

#660 Post by Mawsley » Mon Jun 26, 2017 10:13 pm

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