Tiggie Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 I've seen this on a few groups on Facebook and its usually a laugh so thought I'd see what happens here.Rules are simple. Someone posts a wish and someone replies granting the wish but ruining it in a humorous way.Example:I wish I could spend the night with Holly WilloughbyWish granted, you spend all night stood in a police lineup as Holly picks you out as the person recently stalking her I'll start it offI wish I had a new Motorbike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muttly Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 Granted. It is one of the new Enfield's that were made for service in world war one and have been photographed at the bottom of the sea. Unfortunately you part ex'd your current wheels and we cannot raise the bike from it's current position as a nom natural reef. You may visit in dive gear though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggie Posted October 9, 2018 Author Share Posted October 9, 2018 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 I wish Rophenal came in bigger bottles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goat Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 Granted but you mistakenly put it in the wrong drink, your own. A very hairy brutish man notices and carts you home with him. It just so happens that he is called bandicota and enjoys sticking his leg up men's bums. You wake up three days later lying in the street naked and unable to walk as you've been practically split in two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggs Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 I wish Rophenal came in bigger bottles. Granted! they now come in 80,000 litre bottles. You have to climb up a rickety old ladder to the top of the bottle where you've rigged up a bucket and pulley system to access the liquid... You're merrily pulling the bucket up when the cheap rope snags on the pulley, your weight shifts and the sad old ladder starts to rock. Flailing wildly you try and regain your balance but you fail, falling head first into the bottle. You manage to tread rohypnol for a few minutes but soon you become sleepy.... so sleepy.... and gently slip beneath the surface..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggie Posted October 10, 2018 Author Share Posted October 10, 2018 Loving the creativity I wish I earned enough money to work only when I wanted to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 Loving the creativity I wish I earned enough money to work only when I wanted towish granted but its as a tester for the diamond encrusted vibrator factory.my wish is not to have any wish granted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggie Posted October 10, 2018 Author Share Posted October 10, 2018 you cause a paradox and destroy the universe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggs Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 my wish is not to have any wish granted The wish Gods mull over this and instead give all the wishing power to your wife. Looks like you're in for a winter of DIY and shopping trips Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geofferz Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 I wish goat changed his avatar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MR_W Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 I wish goat changed his avatar Granted but he changes it to a selfie of him watching over you while you sleep.I wish my kids would sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muttly Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 They will but only in the car and only for long enough to ensure no other sleep is had by anyone.I wish I spent more time doing things I liked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 They will but only in the car and only for long enough to ensure no other sleep is had by anyone.I wish I spent more time doing things I liked. Granted , but your Mrs will get bored being at home alone and start an affair with Lee Roy from the Jerk Chicken shop who has a dick like a babies arm holding a Jaffa orange . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonraker Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 Is this game already over? I quite enjoyed reading what people came up with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Throttled Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 So far most wishes have at least resulted in the wisher getting some rough sex up the arse.I wish I was having rough sex up the arse.Now ruin that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goat Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 So far most wishes have at least resulted in the wisher getting some rough sex up the arse.I wish I was having rough sex up the arse.Now ruin that! your wish is granted but afterwards it all turns a bit william burroughs. Your ar*ehole starts to talk. At first its amusing and a bit of a novelty. Then it develops teeth and starts to eat. After a week or two you wake up with a jelly like substance over your mouth which you wipe off. This happens day after day until your mouth completely seals shut. Your head withers away apart from your eyes which your ar*ehole needs. Slowly your brain is cut off and you lose all control of your body to your ar*ehole. Enjoy your new life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggs Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 Goat scares me.I wish for one non poisonous totally standard size chocolate donut that does not talk or is cursed or has hair, it's not locked in any sort of receptacle that means I can't eat it and upon eating it I do not want to turn in to anything or have anything happen to anyone I like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 Goat scares me.I wish for one non poisonous totally standard size chocolate donut that does not talk or is cursed or has hair, it's not locked in any sort of receptacle that means I can't eat it and upon eating it I do not want to turn in to anything or have anything happen to anyone I like. Granted ... I have that exact doughnut in my cellar ... I mean fridge , collection only . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Via Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 Goat scares me.I wish for one non poisonous totally standard size chocolate donut that does not talk or is cursed or has hair, it's not locked in any sort of receptacle that means I can't eat it and upon eating it I do not want to turn in to anything or have anything happen to anyone I like. Granted, and it is the best doughnut you've ever had with no side effects... You enjoy the doughnut so much you want another but it don't taste as good so go from doughnut shop to doughnut shop trying to find something that was as wonderful as the first doughnut but nothing ever compares, 1 year and 50 stone later you can no longer get up and just lay on the remnants of doughnut boxes ordering doughnuts online.I wish I was rich. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggs Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 I wish I was rich. Granted! You own all blue, green red and orange properties on the monopoly board with hotels on all! woo make it rain with those brightly coloured bills!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goat Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 (edited) You wish is granted you become rich but to do so you are transformed into a slot machine in a sleezy pub. People drop coins laden with fecal bacteria into your slot, making you increasingly ill, and your body swells with disease and £1 coins. Whilst you are trapped in your metal capsule staring at the depravity of the human race you exclaim 'Curse my metal body' no one hears or cares. Edited October 12, 2018 by goat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goat Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 I wish I was a rainbow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 I wish I was a rainbow. Granted.... but Bungle will sit on your face for nine hours a day , George will lick your nipples for another seven and keep catching them in his zip .... and for the rest of the day Rod Jane and Freddy will constantly sing the theme tune to you . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geofferz Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 I wish I was a rainbow. Granted.... but Bungle will sit on your face for nine hours a day , George will lick your nipples for another seven and keep catching them in his zip .... and for the rest of the day Rod Jane and Freddy will constantly sing the theme tune to you . Also you have to be friends with someone called Geoffrey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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