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Your worst joke!!!


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While reading an article about fathers and sons drinking together, I remembered the time I took my daughter out for her first drink.

Off we went to our local bar only two blocks from the house.

I got her a Guinness. She didn't like it, so I drank it.

Then I got her a Killian's she didn't like that either, so I drank it.

Finally, I thought she might like some Harp Lager? She didn't. I drank it.

I thought maybe she'd like whisky better than beer so we tried a Jameson's; nope!

In desperation, I had her try that 25 year old Glenfidich. The bar's finest scotch. She wouldn't even smell it. What could I do but drink it!

By the time I realized she just didn't like to drink, I was so shit-faced I could hardly push her stroller back home!!!

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Fella goes to a psychiatrist , he said I think I've got a problem, I think I'm gay , I got 3 brothers that are gay ,2 step brothers that are gay , 6 male cousins that are gay and my dad and grandad have gay tendencies , the psychiatrist said Jesus Christ is there any one in your family that like women ? Fella says yeh.. me sister.

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My mate said, "I like your bike."

I said,"It's not very practical now we've got a baby."

He said, "How about I buy it off you."

I said,"Yeah go on then. Three grand?"

He said, "You've got yourself a deal."



I said, "Nice one... you're going to make a brilliant dad."

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Went to a temporary tattoo shop yesterday , woke up this morning and the tattoo wouldn't wash off, so I went back to complain .... when I got there the shop was gone :shock:

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As I was led away in handcuffs to the police car my mum shouted " it's all my fault Darren , I've not been a good mother , I'm so sorry Darren "


"My names Dave mum .... my names Dave ! "

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