Jump to content

Things I’ve learnt in 2018


Mawsley
 Share

Recommended Posts

Things I’ve learnt in 2018:


1. Never, ever drink soya milk. Almond milk is ace, soya milk must have been produced by squeezing the soya bean’s anus.

2. ...[to be continued as I imagine that between the lot of us we might learn other new things over the course of the year? Maybe not]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

- Everyone on the road hates you and wants to kill you

- Don't trust anyone who says, "trust me"

- Tennis Elbow really hurts... a lot

- The whole of the western world is running on greed

- Money just is a concept of human perception, an illusion that dictates the control of a nation

- Triumphs can often have a lot of electrical issues

- Dogs really don't like cats

- The observable universe is expanding a lot quicker than imaginable by our tiny little minds, and we are all going to die!!!

- String theory is a lot more easy to understand than people, particularly women

- The terrible smell from inside my car was food that had festered for so long that it had evolved into a new specie of bovine. So, make it a habit to clean out your car regularly, before a new civilization tries to overthrow you from your position as driver

- If you think you might need fuel then you definitely need fuel

- Always put toilet paper down on the seat before you sit, unless you are the only one to use it

- Never trust a fart

- Taking the lid off the radiator isn't a good idea when the engine is hot. Don't do it... I said DON'T!

- When buying any vehicle, remember that the person selling it is always hiding something from you

Link to comment
Share on other sites

- Everyone on the road hates you and wants to kill you

- Don't trust anyone who says, "trust me"

- Tennis Elbow really hurts... a lot

- The whole of the western world is running on greed

- Money just is a concept of human perception, an illusion that dictates the control of a nation

- Triumphs can often have a lot of electrical issues

- Dogs really don't like cats

- The observable universe is expanding a lot quicker than imaginable by our tiny little minds, and we are all going to die!!!

- String theory is a lot more easy to understand than people, particularly women

- The terrible smell from inside my car was food that had festered for so long that it had evolved into a new specie of bovine. So, make it a habit to clean out your car regularly, before a new civilization tries to overthrow you from your position as driver

- If you think you might need fuel then you definitely need fuel

- Always put toilet paper down on the seat before you sit, unless you are the only one to use it

- Never trust a fart

- Taking the lid off the radiator isn't a good idea when the engine is hot. Don't do it... I said DON'T!

- When buying any vehicle, remember that the person selling it is always hiding something from you

 

Someone's had a busy 4 days, I haven't even sobered up yet :mrgreen:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The origin of the word chopper is about bikes with bits chopped off.

 

Thank you, Prof. Fastbob

 

A pleasure to be of service.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I learnt that if a ladder is available don't try and be Spiderman. And if 7 people tell you to go to hospital then don't wait a few days and then go only to find out you've broken your wrist in 3 places

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That Six should have got the Mod gig! 8-)

 

Are we starting this again? My avatar is my actual reaction :lol:

 



Fook your mod job .... I'm far to busy and over qualified :D Oh yeh and fook your silly avatar :thumb:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have learnt to ignore TV weather forecasts! :twisted:

 

4. Weather forecasts of clear dry days are full of sh*t, especially if you plan your week's work to give yourself a free day playing on the clear, dry roads. :evil:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've been back at work two days this year. This is what I've learned:

Trains are useless - both days they've leg me down.

Trying not to go boozing after work is also useless. In two days I've been pursuaded to the pub 50% of my evenings!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Welcome to The Motorbike Forum.

    Sign in or register an account to join in.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy Guidelines We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.

Please Sign In or Sign Up