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Two gay blokes decide they want a baby , so they mix up thier sperm and pay a surragate mother , 9 months later they go to get the baby from hospital, they enter a room and it’s full of babies screaming and crying all except one , the nurse points at it and says that’s yours , one of the nufters said I knew our baby would be the happy one... the nurse says , he’s fine at the moment but you wait when I take the thermometer out it’s arse.

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If you gets a link called 'free porn' dont opin it. It is a birus wich deactivates your spelcheck and garblis up you riting. I also receibed it but lukily I dont does porn so I dint opin it.

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There was a man that received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude.


The man tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could of. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird, and the bird got worse. He shook the bird and the bird got madder and ruder.


Finally, in a moment of desperation, he put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawking and kicking and screaming, and then, suddenly, there was quiet. The man was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.


The parrot calmly stepped out onto the man's extended arm and said:


"I'm sorry that I might have offended you with my language and actions and ask for your forgiveness. I will endeavour to correct my behaviour."


The man was astounded at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had changed him ... when the parrot continued:


"May I ask what the chicken did wrong?"

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