Dress codes

He's offered you an invitation and asked you to respect his clubs rules, as all the members do. Bizzare reaction to what seems to be a decent offer and a more than reasonable request. He's offering you some lunch, in return he's asked you not to be a complete embarassment to him.

Dress codes in night clubs make me laugh nowadays.

There isn't any!!!!!

None. Zilch. Nada.

That only applies to gorgeous looking women

He's offered you an invitation and asked you to respect his clubs rules, as all the members do. Bizzare reaction to what seems to be a decent offer and a more than reasonable request. He's offering you some lunch, in return he's asked you not to be a complete embarassment to him.

I'd wear a dress if it meant free food n drink

He's offered you an invitation and asked you to respect his clubs rules, as all the members do. Bizzare reaction to what seems to be a decent offer and a more than reasonable request. He's offering you some lunch, in return he's asked you not to be a complete embarassment to him.

No, you're absolutely right - it's a private members club that sets its own rules, and standards must be maintained. I will just have to accept that in the eyes of the committee, turning up in jeans would rank me far below the more acceptably attired wife-beater and child-abuser, and that I would be a complete embarrassment to the father-in-law. It's a bit like Goebbels being excommunicated by the Catholic Church: they were pretty laid back about his involvement in the Final Solution, but as soon as he married a Protestant they kicked him out. Standards must be upheld!

well that's all sorted then. Jolly good. Standards must be maintained.

Everyone should wear whatever they want. I am however a little green eyed that you can at least spend time with your father in law.

I haven’t seen or spoken to my MIL for over two years and we live next to each other, I live at the top of the field and she lives at the bottom. I see her out the window walking the dogs occasionally and sigh that she’s looking pretty fit and find myself wishing she’d just shuffle off.

Not nice. Wish we could go for lunch and be civil but she’s just not capable.

Everyone should wear whatever they want. I am however a little green eyed that you can at least spend time with your father in law.

I haven’t seen or spoken to my MIL for over two years and we live next to each other, I live at the top of the field and she lives at the bottom. I see her out the window walking the dogs occasionally and sigh that she’s looking pretty fit and find myself wishing she’d just shuffle off.

Not nice. Wish we could go for lunch and be civil but she’s just not capable.

How fit does she look , does she wear wellies at all.... an pics ?

Oh yeah a definite welly wearer. Given your currently known predilections I wouldn’t like to comment on how fit.

I’ll take a snap next time I see her stirring her cauldron in the field and you can decide for yourself if the silver surfer things for you

Everyone should wear whatever they want. I am however a little green eyed that you can at least spend time with your father in law.

I haven’t seen or spoken to my MIL for over two years and we live next to each other, I live at the top of the field and she lives at the bottom. I see her out the window walking the dogs occasionally and sigh that she’s looking pretty fit and find myself wishing she’d just shuffle off.

Not nice. Wish we could go for lunch and be civil but she’s just not capable.

It took a long time for my relationship with the father-in-law to thaw out after our wedding: he ruined the entire day with a speech so crass and offensive that it had my wife in tears, and another guest had to be physically restrained from chinning him.

If we do go out for lunch at the weekend I will spend the entire time on my guard for his frequent racial slurs in front of my kids. His next door neighbour is a single mother and - brace yourself - black. He calls her a 'choco' and her son 'chimpo'. He can't report her to the council for being black, so he reports her for everything else - over the summer it was for having dandelions in her lawn. I suggested that as a nurse and a single mother she was probably too knackered to cut the grass as often as she'd like to, and that instead of reporting her to the council it would be more neighbourly to offer to cut it for her - especially as he is retired and a keen gardener. I thought he was going to spontaneously combust: he still hasn't got over a white man caddying for Tiger Woods, which he sees as a complete inversion of the natural order.

The only potential entertainment value will come from my mother-in-law, who has dementia. Obviously it's no laughing matter most of the time, but for some reason she always does something amusing whenever we go out. On the way out for lunch once she stood in our back yard, looking at our heavily-pregnant neighbours lingerie on the washing line, and yelled "Jesus Christ! How big are her tits?" at the top of her voice. Of course our neighbour was standing in her kitchen with the back door open and heard her.

Then a few months ago we took them to an Indian restaurant in town, and halfway through the meal she reached into her handbag, pulled out a small garment and yelled "Whose knickers are these in my handbag?" Then she went from table to table asking all the women if they'd lost a pair of knickers.

With family like that who needs enemies?

I'll happily chip in for a hitman to take the twat out.

I'll happily chip in for a hitman to take the twat out.

Look it's nearly Christmas we all know six can be a bit hardwork at times but that's a bit ott

I'll happily chip in for a hitman to take the twat out.

 

Look it's nearly Christmas we all know six can be a bit hardwork at times but that's a bit ott

He best be a good shot

I'll happily chip in for a hitman to take the twat out.

 

Look it's nearly Christmas we all know six can be a bit hardwork at times but that's a bit ott

 

You have to fetch sex into everything

He best be a good shot

I can’t count the tears and disruption the evil MIL has caused. If I recounted the worse of it you’d be wondering what sort of person I was putting up with that sh*te. Weak I am not.

Racism and sexism are norms for her, I’m talking full blown assaults on your character and choices. The last example sneaked out sideways to friends n family “I feel sorry for the boys having a mother like that”

“What?” says her audience, she says “You know alcoholic”

I wouldn’t mind so much but I’m no big drinker (it’s too hard to parent well and booze at the same time) but what easier way to slur someone’s character?!?!

I think that may have been because both of my sons are well received and oft praised by others as kind and hard working where as her other grandchildren are a bit feral- I’m not anti feral just anti bitch.

The only nice thing that ever happened over the last 30 years is her husband (my father in law) said when we were alone “the thing is I’ve noticed is that the better the woman is the more other women want to tear her down”

Funny moments- none. Just increased agrivation as the weird Hyacinth Bucket moments of desperate social climbing slip through her fingers while watching me somehow go through with a bit of humour- it all grates on her clenched jaw.

He's offered you an invitation and asked you to respect his clubs rules, as all the members do. Bizzare reaction to what seems to be a decent offer and a more than reasonable request. He's offering you some lunch, in return he's asked you not to be a complete embarassment to him.

 

No, you're absolutely right - it's a private members club that sets its own rules, and standards must be maintained. I will just have to accept that in the eyes of the committee, turning up in jeans would rank me far below the more acceptably attired wife-beater and child-abuser, and that I would be a complete embarrassment to the father-in-law. It's a bit like Goebbels being excommunicated by the Catholic Church: they were pretty laid back about his involvement in the Final Solution, but as soon as he married a Protestant they kicked him out. Standards must be upheld!

Sounds like a delightful chap!

Seems like your issue isn't really with the dress code request, If he was a normal nice bloke there would be no reason at all to get upset with what he's asked.

It took a long time for my relationship with the father-in-law to thaw out after our wedding: he ruined the entire day with a speech so crass and offensive that it had my wife in tears, and another guest had to be physically restrained from chinning him.

If we do go out for lunch at the weekend I will spend the entire time on my guard for his frequent racial slurs in front of my kids.

He might be even worse if he is surrounded by his bigoted golfing cronies.

Prewarn him that you will walk out with the Mrs and kids if he starts.

Maybe the potential embarrassment of being stood up by his family in front of the club will calm his behaviour?

My grandad wasn't racist as such......He hated everyone.......

I can’t count the tears and disruption the evil MIL has caused. If I recounted the worse of it you’d be wondering what sort of person I was putting up with that sh*te. Weak I am not.

Racism and sexism are norms for her, I’m talking full blown assaults on your character and choices. The last example sneaked out sideways to friends n family “I feel sorry for the boys having a mother like that”

“What?” says her audience, she says “You know alcoholic”

I wouldn’t mind so much but I’m no big drinker (it’s too hard to parent well and booze at the same time) but what easier way to slur someone’s character?!?!

I think that may have been because both of my sons are well received and oft praised by others as kind and hard working where as her other grandchildren are a bit feral- I’m not anti feral just anti bitch.

The only nice thing that ever happened over the last 30 years is her husband (my father in law) said when we were alone “the thing is I’ve noticed is that the better the woman is the more other women want to tear her down”

Funny moments- none. Just increased agrivation as the weird Hyacinth Bucket moments of desperate social climbing slip through her fingers while watching me somehow go through with a bit of humour- it all grates on her clenched jaw.

She sounds very much like my grandmother. She stopped talking to me about ten years ago when I was seeing a girl who wasn't white.

In a nutshell, the entire family despises her but one Christmas she did a massive shit round at my place and blocked the bog. I can still hear her panicked shrieking for my mother who had to go and chop the thing up so it would flush. It still brings a tear to my eye.

Oh, and one of her sayings is "Only the good die young". She's my only surviving grandparent.