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Your worst joke!!!


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Sorry if link is not direct to video but this HAD to be posted... It should ONLY offend bikers so I think I am on safe ground :D


I just hope its not a push bike :shock: (Ok now I might of offended some :D)...


https://www.facebook.com/TheJeremyKyleShow/videos/385432915346311/UzpfSTU0MDU1MzIyNjpWSzoyMjU0OTUyMTExNDU5MzI3/?comment_id=2254970828124122&notif_id=1552558234082215&notif_t=group_comment_mention

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Guest Richzx6r

Surely that car wont move again.......oh shit its moved *splat*

 

You really hit the nail with that joke

 

I'm afraid I just couldn't help myself, what with the day I had

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For 2 years a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.

One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage,

He paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back.

He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. 'Honey!' she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.'

'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said.

The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written: Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce.

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Two blind pilots enter a plane,


They have sunglasses and white sticks. As the plane starts to move, the passengers are uncomfortable. The plane gains speed, but it stays on the ground. The remaining runway gets smaller and smaller, and the plane is rushing towards a fence.

The passengers start shrieking and suddenly the plane lifts, avoiding the fence at the last second. All the passengers calm down, thinking it was a bad joke.

In the pilot cabin, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says : "You know what? One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all going to die."

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Long read I know but you must read to the end...


There was a man who was driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound unlike anything he's ever heard before. The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind. He doesn't sleep that night. He tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a seductive sound.


The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." Distraught, the man is forced to leave.Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answer again.The monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."The man says, "If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk."The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find these answers, you will have become a monk."


The man sets about his task. After years of searching he returns as a gray-haired old man and knocks on the door of the monastery. A monk answers. He is taken before a gathering of all the monks."In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I traveled the earth and have found what you asked for: By design, the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self deception."The monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound."


The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is beyond that door."The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man is given the key to the stone door and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl and diamond.Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has become very clear and definite. The monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind that door!With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the knob, and slowly pushes the door open. Falling to his knees, he is utterly amazed to discover the source of that haunting and seductive sound......But, of course, I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.

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(with apologies in advance to @Magpie84)


Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful.


I just need to work out if that’s my wife or my girlfriend.




:roll: :up: :roll:

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(with apologies in advance to @Magpie84)


Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful.


I just need to work out if that’s my wife or my girlfriend.

 

"Our wives and sweethearts May they never meet.".

Sally no longer used which is almost the worst joke. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-23013395

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