Jump to content

Your worst joke!!!


Recommended Posts

A guy was walking down the high street past the pet shop when the owner called him in to see the latest new pet sensation.


"It's a talking centipede" he said, "only £20".


The guy wasn't really in the market for a new pet, but on the other hand a talking centipede sounded cool, so finally he bought one, plus its tank, food and toys, for £30. He got home and set it up on the bookshelf. At first he just watched it scuttle around, buy after a while this got boring so he decided to make it talk.


"Hey mate - fancy going out for a pint?"


He waited, but there wasn't a sound. He got more and more angry at the way he'd been conned out of his £30. Eventually he'd had enough - he deiced to give it one more chance before he took it all back to the pet shop to get his £30 back. So he shouted:


"HEY MATE - FANCY GOING OUT FOR A PINT??!!"


Then he heard a small voice saying


"OK, OK, I heard you the first time!. Give me half a chance - I'm just putting my shoes on...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Some people would have us believe that no matter what our skin colour, gender or race, we are all the same under the Skin...

9036FE42-9E1C-47EF-87A3-9C4DAF348954.jpeg.37b227c8677a9033fce393c9321a0bf7.jpeg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Many years ago, a friend of mine told me that, for his new job, he was going from door to door.

He said that, if a man answered the door he pretended to be selling encyclopaedia.

But if it was a woman, he would offer her sexual favours... For free.

"Oh well...", I said, "I'd expect you to find the door slammed in your face many many times then".

He smirked and said: "Oh yah, many times... But I am occasionally invited in...".

8-)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

During my check-up I asked the Doctor

"Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then?"


He replied "I doubt it somehow -- Mercury is in Uranus right now"


I said "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense"



He replied

"Neither do I --- My thermometer just broke"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Husband stands in front of a mirror naked and asks his wife "Why do I always get a hard on when I look at myself naked?"


Wife replies "Because even your your cock thinks your a ****". (C U Next Tuesday)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Welcome to The Motorbike Forum.

    Sign in or register an account to join in.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy Guidelines We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.

Please Sign In or Sign Up