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Your worst joke!!!


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Husband:

My wife is missing.

She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home...


Sergeant at Police Station:

What is her height?


Husband:

I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall?


Sergeant:

Weight?


Husband:

Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.


Sergeant:

Color of eyes?


Husband:

Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.


Sergeant:

Color of hair?


Husband:

Changes a couple times a year.

Maybe dark brown now.

I can’t remember.


Sergeant:

What was she wearing?


Husband:

Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.


Sergeant:

What kind of car did she go in?


Husband:

She actually went on my dirt bike...


Sergeant:

What kind of bike was it?


Husband: (sobbing)

It's a new 2019 Kawasaki KX450 in lime green with a Liquid-cooled, 4-stroke Single engine, 449 cm³ displacement, 96 x 62.1 mm Bore x stroke with Compression ratio of 12.5:1. DOHC 4 valve, Forced lubrication, semi‑dry sump. Front suspension; 49 mm inverted telescopic fork with adjustable compression and rebound damping. Rear; New Uni-Trak with adjustable dual-range (high/lowspeed). Front brakes are Single semi-floating 270 mm petal disc. Caliper: Dual-piston. Rear brakes are Single 250 mm petal disc. Caliper: Single-piston. 5-speed transmission, Primary Reduction Ratio of 2.727 (60/22). Wet multi-disc manual clutch. Perimeter, aluminum frame, 122 mm trail, 305mm front wheel travel, 307 for the rear. Front tyre: 80/100-21 51M and rear 120/80-19 63M. Steering angle, left / right 42° / 42° L x W x H 2,185 x 830 x 1,275 mm Wheelbase 1,485 mm Ground clearance 340 mm Fuel capacity 6.2 litres Seat height 955 mm Curb mass 110.0 kg... (continues to cry).


Sergeant:

Don't worry mate. We'll find your bike.

 


It was half funny the 1st time posted . ..

 

I'll post it a again see if its only 1/3 as funny Purely for research purposes lol. Yawn!

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The wife just asked me what I was doing on the computer, I said "LOOKING FOR CHEAP FLIGHTS" she got very excited and said "I LOVE YOU" then got on her knees and gave me the best blow job I ever had!!





Which surprised me as she'd never been in to darts before!!

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"If you win the lottery, the first thing I want you to get me is a face lift and a boob job," said my 45 year old wife as I was checking my ticket.


"Well, actually, the first thing I would buy is a reconditioned engine and a respray for my Mondeo," I replied."Why would you waste your money tarting that old thing up, you might as well get yourself a new one," she said.............."My point exactly."

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