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Your worst joke!!!


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dear suicide bombers... your not going to get 72 virgins by blowing yourself to fook.... find a local BMW owners club , preferably the GS sector and go to one of their meets :thumb:

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  • 2 weeks later...

Celtic fan and a Rangers fan had a head on collision , to their amazement neither were hurt but both cars was destroyed, in celebration of their good luck they agree to put their differences aside and the Rangers fan goes to boot of his car and fetches a 12 year old bottle of whisky. He hands it to the Celtic fan who says from now on may we live together in peace and harmony and gulps down half the bottle . He goes to hand it to the Rangers fan who say no thanks , i'll just wait until the police get here yer Fenian c"nt.

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The milkman delivers the milk the day before Christmas and rings the bell of number 11, hoping for a festive tip. As the door opens, he sees a beautiful woman standing there wearing a see-through nightie.

She takes him by the hand and guides him upstairs where she makes mad passionate love to him. At the end of the session, they return downstairs where she cooks a delicious fried breakfast and hands him £1.

"I don't understand" says the puzzled milkman. "What's going on?"

She replies, "When I asked my husband whether I should give you a £5 tip, he replied, 'F*ck the milkman and give him £1.' The breakfast was my idea."

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A bloke walks into a Butchers shop. The Butcher politely greets him and asks what he would like. “I’d like a nice wasp please”. Butcher-“I’m sorry sir but we don’t sell wasps”. Customer-“well you had one in the window yesterday”. :D

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While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.


Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?"


As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for...


"I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.


She said, "Get in and I'll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head."


"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"


"Oh, come now, I'm a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."


Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."


We arrived at her place which was just few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."


"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"


"Still in the ditch with the Harley, I guess." 😀😀

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