What's the stupidest route you have taken.

Was going to put this as a reply to another thread and though it's daft enough for its own.

The farthest i have ever driven to get to Ullapool in one go was from a campsite on the exmoor coast about 3miles from porlock hill.

I had an audi avant estate and a twin axle tourer, it blew the fuse for the dash taking out the fuel gauge, on the way there, the site warden was a little Hitler and told me no work was allowed on any vehicle on the site hmm, one short argument ensued as I really didn't think looking at a fuse box constituted anything that was going to upset the other camper 150ft away.

Cue a quick bite to eat, a shower, hooked back up and a friendly wave as we drove past the little twat, who I might add was a funny shade of purple trying to get to the exit before me, I drove just slow enough so he had to run the entire way, there was no mention of a charge for 2hrs only per night, so I decided our stay was free.

Drove overnight straight to Ullapool left about 8pm stopped for breakfast at what was a little chef I think outside Inverness, got to campsite overlooking the sea about 11am, sign on gate said site closes tomorrow at 1pm

Quck chat with warden who was polar opposite of other twat and he said along as we didn't need toilet block we could stay the week phew.

We left Newcastle on the morning of the15th of Oct 1987, the forcast was a bit blustery but nothing too bad, ye old folk may remember that as the night the forecasters got it completely f**king wrong.

So that was Newcastle to Ullapool via exmore during some rather atrocious weather.

The Great October Storm. I was in the Bay of Biscay at the time and I remember it was a bit lumpy. Good on you towing a caravan in that.

As to stupid routes - TomTom regularly puts me on roads that nobody in their most lunatic phase would ever go. Occasionally if I'm feeling brave I follow it. Usually as I'm more sane than not I bail out muttering darkly into my beard.

In my car, a 2004 corolla, I drove back from fort William to Essex where I lived at the time during the beast from the east.

I had been winter climbing on Ben Nevis and decided to get home ahead of the storm rather than being trapped. I spent about 6 hours driving at 20 miles an hour to clear the blizzard. It was an epic drive.

For some reason I thought that the A6 ran from Luton to Carlisle . Well it does , but I had no concept of what certain " Culturally Diverse " parts of Greater Manchester were actually like . Two miles an hour for two hours is not the best way to start a touring holiday in Scotland . This picture dosen't took too bad but at the weekend it's solid traffic , scores of pedestrian crossings and traffic lights , drivers who just park half on and half off the pavement and busses that stop every hundred yards . And there's mile after mile after mile of it with no hope of an ending in sight . Thank goodness I wasn't on the Harley because I think it or me would have melted ! Anyway , later in the same day I was in Glen Coe on a glorious summer evening with the road to myself .

For some reason I thought that the A6 ran from Luton to Carlisle . Well it does , but I had no concept of what certain " Culturally Diverse " parts of Greater Manchester were actually like . Two miles an hour for two hours is not the best way to start a touring holiday in Scotland . This picture dosen't took too bad but at the weekend it's solid traffic , scores of pedestrian crossings and traffic lights , drivers who just park half on and half off the pavement and busses that stop every hundred yards . And there's mile after mile after mile of it with no hope of an ending in sight . Thank goodness I wasn't on the Harley because I think it or me would have melted ! Anyway , later in the same day I was in Glen Coe on a glorious summer evening with the road to myself .

A bit like Route 66 then...

As to stupid routes - TomTom regularly puts me on roads that nobody in their most lunatic phase would ever go. Occasionally if I'm feeling brave I follow it. Usually as I'm more sane than not I bail out muttering darkly into my beard.

Same with Garmin. A fellow rider has, several times, said if you have used Garmin for the route I’m not following. He does and then curses me for finding the single track roads with boulders and grass down the middle. How we laugh.

It's funny until you meet a pack of hounds and large bloody horses ridden by equally large and completely deranged women coming the other way. The male riders seem slightly saner for a certain value of sane. For some reason a noisy Ducati V-twin seems to send dogs, horses and riders into collective meltdown. Challenging for all concerned.

Not a stupid route at all but I love what I call Route 44 . That's the A44 that runs from near Oxford Airport to Aberystwyth seafront . It goes from Dual Carriageway to Single Track with cattle grids and everything in between. There are no major bottlenecks except possibly Leominster on a busy day . Brilliant .

Stupidest route/ journey, oh my that list is long...

Bradford - Kirby Lonsdale in the snow my passenger suggested we stop several times, we got there.

30 miles for cup of tea in Preston in snow, usual travel warnings.

Glossop - North York Alerston moors of a night b roads all the way... 2 years running I left the road in brow of a hill...

Hogmanay 1996? Recommendations not to travel /snow cold, I drive from near Liverpool to Glasgow, to end up in Edinburgh. In car with no working heater. My mates diesel turned to jelly, skiing Aviemore. I wrote in dirt on side of car gone to pub and arrow.. later that night he found me drinking in Glasgow city center. Talking to an Aussie girl that I next met in London, and failed to meet in Sidney, due to drinking to much in Hobart.

On Honeymoon in Turkey, we came up an interesting road to find ourselves in the wrong side of barriers saying danger road closed. It was pretty dodgy.

Various dodgy roads in Trinidad and Tobago one involving brake pads falling out.

Trying to cross the Levkas hills on a rental scooter?

It's allot harder to be stupid in the South of England...

Mainly being stupid gets you stuck in traffic

I did get my misses to tow a caravan through Manchester, in rush hour when she had never towed before...

We where doing Glasgow-New Forest in one hit...

Green laning in snow, it was not that exciting.

The last big dump of snow when they shut the A35 I took my then MGTF up to it then along the M27 to get to work. When most of the cars where still stuck on it.

On the bike:

Using this as short cut in Wales:

https://maps.app.goo.gl/VwEMNEAXeETQssbL7

Scores high

Plus some wet windy 2 up trips to Devon/ Cornwall.

Heading up the A34 to Bicester with snow falling for job interview? I was routinely clear visor of snow..

I like going over world's end when I get chance then the old road up the Pondarosa cafe.

Being passenger in Egypt is not a good experience, I never tried driving the...

I might edit to add more later...

Hired a scooter in Panjim in Goa when I was twenty five, I did my CBT when I was 18 and hadn’t ridden again since. I got on, worked out how to go and stop and bravely entered the Indian traffic.

I was heading towards a large bridge I did not want to cross but could not find a way to turn around, I was paralysed by the way the other traffic behaves and could only continue at thirty miles an hour, eventually forty minutes later I was able to drift and turn around and took the scooter back to the shop early.

Back in probably 1980 I took a mate from Surrey to St Andrews for the new year celebrations on a Z650.

Journey up was very cold and we planned lunch in Carlisle lol, Evening spent in Leeds Uni bar ended up with a punch up with Uni rugby squad.

Stayed in some guys terraced house and slept on the floor in a room with a Bonneville don't remember much else.

Woke or regained consciousness in the morning and did 50 miles the wrong way down the motorway and when I realised I was so hungover I went down one off ramp round 1 junction on the roundabout and straight back up the other side and continued in the wrong direction lol.

Got to St Andrews and got snowed in so stayed a week rather than the long weekend.

The stay included a party in a village hall out in the sticks one evening and when we arrived the guys on the door said it was fancy dress and themed punks and poseurs so with no introduction I rode the bike up the steps across the dance floor and parked in front of the disco.

Great evening but medical students had laced the punch with acid so rode back at about 5 mph counting butterflys in the snow.

Eventual journey back involved a different route which included the highlight of having the bike nicked while we were in the pub in Carlisle and the old bill finding it and allowing me to park it in their yard (spent the night praying they wouldn't look under the seat for our herbal tobacco lol.

Final day snowing hard and when we got to Shap slow progress and could hear the hiss of snow turning to steam on the downpipes as we ploughed our own furrow when we came down the southern side of the mountain at the bottom was a police car who stopped us and asked how we had done it as the road had been closed for about 4 hours (turns out the signs had been blown over and buried in snow and the cop who was supposed to be there wasn't.

Final straw got pulled over where M6 joins M1 and accused by cop of being an Austin Allegro because the plate was so dirty but at least he let us sit in the back of the patrol car and warm up a bit.

Absolutely stupid and in places a dangerous trip but it still makes me smile and I am glad I did it.

Cheers

Ian

The Great October Storm. I was in the Bay of Biscay at the time and I remember it was a bit lumpy. Good on you towing a caravan in that.

I don't envy you being at sea in that sort of weather.

great storey we need more of them

great storey we need more of them

If that was aimed at mine thank you very much !

I am no writer and struggled like mad to put that together lol.

I should try harder as I have had some great scrapes lol.

Cheers

Ian

indeed it was well done

[mention]Ian Frog[/mention] thats great, it's a film in the waiting

@Ian Frog thats great, it's a film in the waiting

Sounds like Trainspotters but way more interesting.

Back in probably 1980 I took a mate from Surrey to St Andrews for the new year celebrations on a Z650.

Journey up was very cold and we planned lunch in Carlisle lol, Evening spent in Leeds Uni bar ended up with a punch up with Uni rugby squad.

Stayed in some guys terraced house and slept on the floor in a room with a Bonneville don't remember much else.

Woke or regained consciousness in the morning and did 50 miles the wrong way down the motorway and when I realised I was so hungover I went down one off ramp round 1 junction on the roundabout and straight back up the other side and continued in the wrong direction lol.

Got to St Andrews and got snowed in so stayed a week rather than the long weekend.

The stay included a party in a village hall out in the sticks one evening and when we arrived the guys on the door said it was fancy dress and themed punks and poseurs so with no introduction I rode the bike up the steps across the dance floor and parked in front of the disco.

Great evening but medical students had laced the punch with acid so rode back at about 5 mph counting butterflys in the snow.

Eventual journey back involved a different route which included the highlight of having the bike nicked while we were in the pub in Carlisle and the old bill finding it and allowing me to park it in their yard (spent the night praying they wouldn't look under the seat for our herbal tobacco lol.

Final day snowing hard and when we got to Shap slow progress and could hear the hiss of snow turning to steam on the downpipes as we ploughed our own furrow when we came down the southern side of the mountain at the bottom was a police car who stopped us and asked how we had done it as the road had been closed for about 4 hours (turns out the signs had been blown over and buried in snow and the cop who was supposed to be there wasn't.

Final straw got pulled over where M6 joins M1 and accused by cop of being an Austin Allegro because the plate was so dirty but at least he let us sit in the back of the patrol car and warm up a bit.

Absolutely stupid and in places a dangerous trip but it still makes me smile and I am glad I did it.

Cheers

Ian

Sounds like a good time was had by all there ian

Thank you very much.

There were some amusing incidents during that trip believe me.

Getting money sent by my Dad to allow us to continue the stay was fun he was a fruit importer at Covent Garden and we went to a greengrocers in town and collected some money in a brown paper bag lol how suss would that have looked?

Learning that Scottish pubs opened at 10.00a.m and Belhaven 80 shilling makes an interesting late breakfast.

Additionally every word is true and I worry about what I have forgotten over the years.

Cheers

Ian

Thank you very much.

There were some amusing incidents during that trip believe me.

Getting money sent by my Dad to allow us to continue the stay was fun he was a fruit importer at Covent Garden and we went to a greengrocers in town and collected some money in a brown paper bag lol how suss would that have looked?

Learning that Scottish pubs opened at 10.00a.m and Belhaven 80 shilling makes an interesting late breakfast.

Additionally every word is true and I worry about what I have forgotten over the years.

Cheers

Ian

I really want to get out on a road trip right now.....this sucks

#Rich is the "Smash" factory near Scotch corner still there and does it still have the giant alien on the roof?

Nearly fell off when I saw that for the first time!

Cheers

Ian

Just off the a1?

I havent noticed any aliens around scotch corner area unless you want to count the inhabitants....think it might have disappeared

Just off the a1?

I havent noticed any aliens around scotch corner area unless you want to count the inhabitants....think it might have disappeared

Yep just off the A1 it was a bonkers large red headed Smash alien and I laughed my arse off and nearly ran straight into the approaching roundabout !

Cheers

Ian

Well I havent seen any aliens that I could remember so I think it has gone