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Nob of the Day.......


Tango
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I ride a push bike most days and occasionally I set off on an expedition to the Outer Hebrides just for the challenge .

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Edited by fastbob
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@S-Westerly The mirror thing I found a real issue when I last used my mountain bike.

 

Makes you realise why cyclists should have them they might actually care about what's behind them instead of signal manoeuvre...

Cyclists I started to overtake with clear slave before a junction, he signalled and pulled into middle of road. I carried on the road was 2 way road I was already asking side the one at the back.

Cyclist carried on onto opposite carriageway, I had to break HARD.


Poor dog got launched round back of car, have a squeal.

Cyclist betrated me at junction for not looking :shock:

Dog reluctant to get into car for next week :cry:


Maybe I should get dash cam for own protection 🤔

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Round here with all the hills every other bike is electrically assisted and some of the loons have no idea what they are doing. Uphill and going to and fro across the lane. Makes passing them a bit of a lottery.

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So.....

Last Friday I went out for a tootle around on the Mighty Speedtriple ... vote for Nob of the day goes to:


1: The young lady on a cycle that stuck her arm out to turn right & wobbled about all over the road out of control.


2: The RangeRover driver who started to speed up when I came up behind him to the point that he was crossing the solid white lines in the bends, at an appropriate point I overtook him, at which point there was an even worse deterioration in his driving plus flashing of lights...


3: The twat exiting a petrol station out of the ‘Entry only’ lane as I was entering.


4: The yellow Supra who tried to beat me away from the lights into a lane closure ( why do they try? )


The answer of course is me !!

Filtered to the head of a queue of traffic at the lights, went to shoot off a bit quick & sat there all revs & red faced as it was still in neutral, had to wait for the revs to die before getting away

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Two NOTDs today, a low flying pigeon that I had to duck for ( see what I did there :lol: ) & a complete bellend with a trailer who didn't yield to the car in front of us so as he clipped the verge his empty trailer bounced into our side of the lane ! All on video.

Meanwhile, a mate of mine had a real close shave to the point of if he'd been three seconds further along this wankspangle who did a shit overtake on the brow of a blind crest then lost control & barrelled towards them would have taken them out.

wankspangle.thumb.jpg.cedb829f604e3b44f2817d3dc3cd6747.jpg

wankspangle2.thumb.jpg.e9b6914425885c3ea4b58a0facba8597.jpg

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Two NOTDs today, a low flying pigeon that I had to duck for ( see what I did there :lol: ) & a complete bellend with a trailer who didn't yield to the car in front of us so as he clipped the verge his empty trailer bounced into our side of the lane ! All on video.

Meanwhile, a mate of mine had a real close shave to the point of if he'd been three seconds further along this wankspangle who did a shit overtake on the brow of a blind crest then lost control & barrelled towards them would have taken them out.

 

Wankspangle is now my favourite insult 😂😂

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Is it just me or has the standard of driving actually got even worse post lockdown?

 

Without doubt,

1) People who have been driving for whatever reason throughout got used to empty roads. Now being impatient, and having to learn to look again,

2) People who have not driven for lock down duration coming out of hibernation and driving very slowly,

3) Lycra Pele used to owning the road are having to learn to share again,

4) Motorcyclists not noticing difference as no matter what every one is trying to kill is,


Lots of space for conflict and bad driving...

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Goes to my timber supplier who rang me this morning to say while they can still deliver the sheet material tomorrow they can't supply any of the joist work as they have run out and can't tell me yet when more will come.


Even though I ordered and paid for it approx 5 weeks ago and everything was in stock then. I am beyond raging with them at moment. Only problem is they were the cheapest by about £2 a metre which means it'll cost me around £160 from elsewhere.


He's getting back to me tomorrow when he might know more


:mad: :mad: :mad:

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Guest Richzx6r

Goes to my timber supplier who rang me this morning to say while they can still deliver the sheet material tomorrow they can't supply any of the joist work as they have run out and can't tell me yet when more will come.


Even though I ordered and paid for it approx 5 weeks ago and everything was in stock then. I am beyond raging with them at moment. Only problem is they were the cheapest by about £2 a metre which means it'll cost me around £160 from elsewhere.


He's getting back to me tomorrow when he might know more


:mad: :mad: :mad:

 

Well you could always build the roof and hang it on some sky hooks

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Goes to my timber supplier who rang me this morning to say while they can still deliver the sheet material tomorrow they can't supply any of the joist work as they have run out and can't tell me yet when more will come.


Even though I ordered and paid for it approx 5 weeks ago and everything was in stock then. I am beyond raging with them at moment. Only problem is they were the cheapest by about £2 a metre which means it'll cost me around £160 from elsewhere.


He's getting back to me tomorrow when he might know more


:mad: :mad: :mad:

 

I hate twats like that :roll:

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Goes to my timber supplier who rang me this morning to say while they can still deliver the sheet material tomorrow they can't supply any of the joist work as they have run out and can't tell me yet when more will come.


Even though I ordered and paid for it approx 5 weeks ago and everything was in stock then. I am beyond raging with them at moment. Only problem is they were the cheapest by about £2 a metre which means it'll cost me around £160 from elsewhere.


He's getting back to me tomorrow when he might know more


:mad: :mad: :mad:

 

Happened to a mate of mine. Ordered a load of timber, and paid, all in stock delivery 5-7 days. Then delivery extended twice. When he phoned to complain was told “out if stock not sure when we get any more.“

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Claimed it was an oversight and they sold it without realising. If it cant be delivered by early this week I'm cancelling and using a different yard. Found one that'll cost me approx £80 more and they should be able to deliver it to me this week.


And my garage will be full of all the flooring and roof stuff that is still coming so I wont be able to play in there :roll:

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I have to vote for me - and this could be my nomination for toty when it comes around again. :oops:

Went to fill up today, and as always, put the petrol cap on the pump with the keys in.

Filled up with a whopping £12 worth, and couldn't get the cap back on.

In a bit of a faff/panic, I decided it would be easier to take the bunch of keys out and try again, as the keyring was getting caught up. Key wouldn't release.

By now, I'm feeling the pressure of the car waiting behind me, the bored stare of the security guy in the shop doorway and general panic of looking a fool - which I should be used to by now.

I push the bike over to the parking spaces for the shop, and try again to get the keys out of the petrol cap, to make it easier to locate on the tank with gloves on. Bloody things still wouldn't budge. I'm now so fixated on trying to remove the keys from the tank so much, that I phone my daughter to bring my toolbox down to the petrol garage, (it's quite local).

20 minutes later, I decide to end my embarrassment in front of the bemused security guy, two cashiers and the guy opposite who has stopped cutting his grass just to watch my frustrations. I gave up trying to bust my key out of the cap, and pushed the bike in to the community centre car park next door.

Realising the steering lock wasn't on, the Basildon boy in me took over. I decided to cut my losses, and hot wire the thing, and sort it out at home. Local plod had already passed by, but were too interested in getting their ginsters to worry about me, so off comes the front fairing / headlight assembly. Jammed my daughters hairclip across the two ignition contacts, replaced the front end with the engine running. Packed the tools back in to my daughters car and conscious that the tank was full, decided to rest the cap loosely in the hole to try and prevent spillage.

The bloody thing fell straight in to place, and the stupid fooking key almost fell out, it was that simple. How was I to know the key is held captive in the cap?

It gets worse ...

I threw everything in the back box, including the bunch of keys, as the bike was running with the hairclip in place. Riding home, everything bounced out of the box that I hadn't locked, into the road.

This includes my keys that my daughter promptly ran over ...

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Guest Richzx6r

I have to vote for me - and this could be my nomination for toty when it comes around again. :oops:

Went to fill up today, and as always, put the petrol cap on the pump with the keys in.

Filled up with a whopping £12 worth, and couldn't get the cap back on.

In a bit of a faff/panic, I decided it would be easier to take the bunch of keys out and try again, as the keyring was getting caught up. Key wouldn't release.

By now, I'm feeling the pressure of the car waiting behind me, the bored stare of the security guy in the shop doorway and general panic of looking a fool - which I should be used to by now.

I push the bike over to the parking spaces for the shop, and try again to get the keys out of the petrol cap, to make it easier to locate on the tank with gloves on. Bloody things still wouldn't budge. I'm now so fixated on trying to remove the keys from the tank so much, that I phone my daughter to bring my toolbox down to the petrol garage, (it's quite local).

20 minutes later, I decide to end my embarrassment in front of the bemused security guy, two cashiers and the guy opposite who has stopped cutting his grass just to watch my frustrations. I gave up trying to bust my key out of the cap, and pushed the bike in to the community centre car park next door.

Realising the steering lock wasn't on, the Basildon boy in me took over. I decided to cut my losses, and hot wire the thing, and sort it out at home. Local plod had already passed by, but were too interested in getting their ginsters to worry about me, so off comes the front fairing / headlight assembly. Jammed my daughters hairclip across the two ignition contacts, replaced the front end with the engine running. Packed the tools back in to my daughters car and conscious that the tank was full, decided to rest the cap loosely in the hole to try and prevent spillage.

The bloody thing fell straight in to place, and the stupid fooking key almost fell out, it was that simple. How was I to know the key is held captive in the cap?

It gets worse ...

I threw everything in the back box, including the bunch of keys, as the bike was running with the hairclip in place. Riding home, everything bounced out of the box that I hadn't locked, into the road.

This includes my keys that my daughter promptly ran over ...

 

Wow what a day you seem to have had.....that there is a definite toty nomination right there which is now going in my toty book as my memory wouldnt have remembered it come nomination time.


I know I shouldnt be but I'm howling here

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  • 3 weeks later...

Every ar*ehole who has put one of these incredibly irritating whistles up the exhaust pipe of their shit little car so that they can pretend that they have a Turbo Dump Valve .

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Every ar*ehole who has put one of these incredibly irritating whistles up the exhaust pipe of their shit little car so that they can pretend that they have a Turbo Dump Valve .

 

Is this still a thing? Definitely a nob then.

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Every ar*ehole who has put one of these incredibly irritating whistles up the exhaust pipe of their shit little car so that they can pretend that they have a Turbo Dump Valve .

 

Is this still a thing? Definitely a nob then.

 

Ohhhh yes




First linky no worky, just skip to the end bless his little acrylic socks

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  • 2 weeks later...

The cafe we stopped at yesterday. Ordered a bacon sandwich. 5 minutes later waitress comes back,

'sorry we can't do a bacon sandwich as that is off the breakfast menu that's finished now. We can do a bacon panini if you like?'


So you are telling me you can't cook bacon and put it in between two slices of bread but you can cook bacon and put it in a a fancy bread roll.


10 minutes later the world's driest, most flavourless bacon not a sandwich turns up.

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