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Your worst joke!!!


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:offtopic:


Lets keep it on topic please


There is plenty of other threads on this sort of thing please use one of those

 

I think [mention]Stu[/mention] that last one will get the prize for worst joke... :thumb:

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Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.


"Well," replies Paul, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I became, *ahem*, aroused every time I saw her?"


"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.


"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally worked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."


"That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"


"I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried it would happen to me again. So I got some duct tape and taped "it" to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show".


"Sensible" says Jeff.


"So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, sexiest, dress you ever saw."


"And what happened then?"


"I kicked her in the face."

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  • 3 weeks later...

I went to a pub yesterday evening and ordered a pint. As the landlord put my drink down, I asked him for the wifi code because I needed to check a message.


"Oh no" he said, "No wifi in here, people used to sit talking in pubs, about their day, their families, work, politics, music, the lot. Now people just stare at their phones and it breaks my heart to see. Therefore, no wifi in this pub."


"You know what?" I replied, "You're right" and I put my phone away.


"Thank you", the landlord said "In this pub I want you to act as you would twenty years ago".


So I lit a cigarette, gave him 50p for the pint and said "Two can play at that game mate."

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