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How are you feeling ?


fastbob
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I didn't really know what section to put this in so I've stuck it where more are likely to see it . So , I'll get the ball rolling . How's your Mental Health ? Is the weirdness of the last seven months impacting on your general well-being or maybe you're just experiencing Seasonally Affected Depression ( SAD ) ? It's not as if we can lose the cares of a shit day by nipping out on the bike for an hour now that winter is upon us . So if anyone would like to talk about their Mental Health issues past and present here's a chance to sound off . I would only ask that we try to keep it constructive and respectful . There are plenty of other opportunities to rip the piss to be found elsewhere on here .

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:thumb:


Nice thread Bob.


Everyone deals with things differently, I was unfortunate enough to have had a lot of Shite for want of a better phrase early on in my life so these days it puts most things into perspective, but if anyone feels like unburdening there woes to a bunch of strange folk on the Internet as fraiser said


Were listening.

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Well, I can say that this covid crap IS getting me down! .. I wouldn't class it as depression but I know I'm not the same.


Sleep patterns disturbed, always tired and struggling to get motivated to do anything.


I think its not knowing when things will get better and not really being able to plan things that's getting to me.


Anyway, I'm lucky in that I'm retired and financially OK, so non of the worries that some of the younger ones have about redundencies etc.


I know I'll be ok .. I just want to feel motivated to do things again.

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Well, I can say that this covid crap IS getting me down! .. I wouldn't class it as depression but I know I'm not the same.


Sleep patterns disturbed, always tired and struggling to get motivated to do anything.


I think its not knowing when things will get better and not really being able to plan things that's getting to me.


Anyway, I'm lucky in that I'm retired and financially OK, so non of the worries that some of the younger ones have about redundencies etc.


I know I'll be ok .. I just want to feel motivated to do things again.

 

I'm the same . I'm really struggling to get motivated at the moment . It isn't exactly depression because I'm reasonably cheerful . It's more like suppression .

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Well, I can say that this covid crap IS getting me down! .. I wouldn't class it as depression but I know I'm not the same.


Sleep patterns disturbed, always tired and struggling to get motivated to do anything.


I think its not knowing when things will get better and not really being able to plan things that's getting to me.


Anyway, I'm lucky in that I'm retired and financially OK, so non of the worries that some of the younger ones have about redundencies etc.


I know I'll be ok .. I just want to feel motivated to do things again.

 

I'm the same . I'm really struggling to get motivated at the moment . It isn't exactly depression because I'm reasonably cheerful . It's more like suppression .

 

Yes, .. I'm not unhappy or sad .. Just down ... Probably just need the batteries changing!

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We have lots of issues in our life which should lead to depression and sadness ... so i'm told by every Wellbeing and Mental Health programme on the media ...

But we're ok ..

Daughters a 20 year heroin and cocaine addict, sons gay but went through a phase of transitioning to Kate before his friends on the Nottingham scene, in Rotherham and his family helped him find his way back to John... and his life partner Zac ..

Our daughters children are in our care, permanently... and we have a 2 year old boy we have shared care with, we took his cocaine addicted mother off the streets ( very pregnant girl sleeping in a doorway in Rotherham, we couldn't leave her there ) and cared for her during her 3rd trimester ... and took care of the little bundle from 11 days old until he got his forever family at 9 months.


My wifes convinced i have ptsd from my time in the forces ...


But how are we feeling ....


We live in a bubble of love, tears are accepted without question, if i start to crack one of the children will give me a snuggle and we all pull together .. again ...


I cycle as my blow off valve ... Jules sews .. the children, 1 very nearly an adult, have their own coping mechanisms ..



Social Services, CAMHS, Early Help have come and gone ...


It's not how we ever saw our lives in our 60's ...



We're good ............. for now ....

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Excellent post Bob 👍


The mental health of the people is a real concern - it's generally invisible cos we all put on a front and are loathed to admit any problems in that area due to the stigma attached.


Being low level on the asd spectrum, with anxiety and depression can make life challenging; and probably has a lot to do with me choosing to be both self employed and a motorcycle rider - I "need" the freedom and control that they give.

So, 2020 has been a bit of a mish-mash...

On the one hand I am very fortunate to have had about 70-75% of my regular work/income thought the Covid shambles ( after November and December last year with just about zero income) ......rent, bills, food all covered - all good ☺️

On the other hand, my bike shit the bed in February and has sat forlornly unused since then and most likely will end up being scrapped or sold for spares, cos I can't mentally get in the the right place to tackle the issues with it.😞


As far as covid goes - at the start the big effect on me was working away from home 3-4 days a week getting proper hot food & basic supplies, a daily shower and even open toilets was often impossible. Now I'm constantly being treated like a leper cos I don't wear a face nappy - beyond that it hasn't really affected me.


Of course, along the way there have been a thousand other highs and lows, but without rambling on for an hour this sort of sums things up.

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Good Thread! :thumb:


We're plodding along! got a bit down last week but so far it never lasts long with me.


Lots of uncertainty at the moment ! work, kid's work, Sue's Dad's bungalow still hasn't sold,

My Son's wedding looks like it ain't going to happen etc etc.


But we're still managing the odd laugh or at least smile

and we're still breathing :lol: :thumb:

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I'm fine not under stress but not depressed, the Dr told me a couple of weeks back.


If anyone knows how to stop a decade of fighting (good news is I should be passed the 1/2 way point) with an X wife mine will be much better...


Usual things access (yes there is a court order) maintenance (yes the CMS (new CSA) are involved) she still does not stop...


As for the effect of Covid for me work has gone on we just wear masks and silly suits from time to time. Access stopped for 2 months (I know that should not happened) and maintenance still got paid the arguments did not stop either...

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Last lockdown was bad, my wife went off the deep end and was hospitalised for a month. No visiting allowed. Stressed everybody to hell and gone.

I'm at sea now and building up a store of pure rage which I have to really fight to manage as I don't want to lash out at someone who doesn't deserve it. When I do get home and if we're in any kind of lockdown I'll be stressed out.

The weird thing is this isn't normal for me at all. Normally I'm pretty easy going and work on the basis of "if I can't do anything about it then there's no point stressing about it". Maybe it's age catching up with me?

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I'm fine not under stress but not depressed, the Dr told me a couple of weeks back.


If anyone knows how to stop a decade of fighting (good news is I should be passed the 1/2 way point) with an X wife mine will be much better...


Usual things access (yes there is a court order) maintenance (yes the CMS (new CSA) are involved) she still does not stop...


As for the effect of Covid for me work has gone on we just wear masks and silly suits from time to time. Access stopped for 2 months (I know that should not happened) and maintenance still got paid the arguments did not stop either...

 

Many years ago on a planet far away ...

I gave my ex everything, i rode away on a Honda CJ 250, a yellow one, and a rucksack on my back ..... gave her the house, car the lot ... because it's just stuff.

32 years later ... I have riches beyond the imagination, my wife, children everywhere who love me, call me Dad and Grandad, without a single genetic link.

A house, a ratty old camper van, an old but good caravan in Cornwall .. MOTORBIKES .... our new stuff.. our family stuff ...


Give her the lot and start again .... it's just stuff ...

If it leaves you with nothing .... then fine, start again and leave the pain behind you ...

Move on ... because the "YOU" without stress or baggage will love again ... And smile ...

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Marcus Tullius Cicero

 

Six mistakes mankind keeps making century after century:

Believing that personal gain is made by crushing others;

Worrying about things that cannot be changed or corrected;

Insisting that a thing is impossible because we cannot accomplish it;

Refusing to set aside trivial preferences;

Neglecting development and refinement of the mind;

Attempting to compel others to believe and live as we do.

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Marcus Tullius Cicero

 

Six mistakes mankind keeps making century after century:

Believing that personal gain is made by crushing others;

Worrying about things that cannot be changed or corrected;

Insisting that a thing is impossible because we cannot accomplish it;

Refusing to set aside trivial preferences;

Neglecting development and refinement of the mind;

Attempting to compel others to believe and live as we do.

 

Here's the 7th;

Not understanding the difference between, suggesting, advising and compelling.

:lol:

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I have good days and bad. On my bad days I am just a miserable prick who can find anything to be pissed off about :oops: I came off antidepressants about 7 years ago now, To be absolutely honest I felt no difference on them but my Wife says otherwise :lol:


I am pretty good at pushing feelings out of the way and just getting on with stuff, not that its probably the best thing to do mentally but its my way of dealing with things. As an example I went in to work 2 hours after my Mums funeral a few years ago. I wasn't supposed to be in (obviously) but I think they soon understood I was staying and to let me work.


Cheers for starting this thread Bob, I might use it to bore you all with my childhood traumas rather than going to a psychiatrist :wink:

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Great thread !!!


Im lucky. I have a great husband now. Lockdown hasnt really affected us. Im self employed and can zoom classes on the interwebs. We dont go out much other than on the bikes. Andy works stupidly long hours, my two blind old dogs keep me company.

I have 2 grown up sons to my ex husband who was a narcissistic sociopath. I ran away from him when i was heavily pregnant with my second son after he threatened to take a hammer to my babys head. Told him i was going to the shop after he had calmed down from one of his usual rants and never went back. He took all our clothes and belongings, photos etc... and destroyed them and left me in debt, then he died 2 years later. My relationship is strained to say the least with the lads. It cripples me. My eldest is undiagnosed Aspergers and ptsd from his afghan tour. We used to be the 3 muskateers and so very close. Now we couldnt be further apart. My childhood, early adulthood was horrendous.

I dont really have 'things' other than my bike. I could pack what i own and consider important in my tiny car.

I stay afloat annihilating myself in the gym. Its my drug. Martial arts kept me sane when i was younger, the gym and the bike keep me sane now.

I truly worry for people in this lockdown particularly those in violent and or abusive relarionships. Im lucky. Theres worse off than me.

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wish every one with problems all the best :thumb:

I’m good , always have been , covid not affected me apart from losing my dad in April from it ... but life goes on as they say .


Got an urge to go watch “One Flew over the Cuckoos nest .

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wish every one with problems all the best :thumb:

I’m good , always have been , covid not affected me apart from losing my dad in April from it ... but life goes on as they say .


Got an urge to go watch “One Flew over the Cuckoos nest .

 

You would probably get a lot more out of it from reading the book . The whole thing is written as if it is observed through the eyes of The Chief and goes to places that the film dosen't even touch upon .

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Some very poignant responses, a lot of which I can relate to. I had a really crap couple of years with my wife being diagnosed with cancer in 2018, 2020 was to be a year for travel and enjoying life then covid hit and changed everyones life.


Like trooper, I went through a period of what was thought to be PTSD after serving a lot of years in the army and serving in a couple of the worlds hot spots, then having to deal with the transition to civvy street. I dealt with it by drinking more than I should and got through with the support of my wife and friends.


Motorcycling gives me my release, just riding aimlessly, no where to go in particular just riding. Lockdown caused me some issues, I think it was due to being stuck on this rock and not being able to get away, now we have the upsurge of the anti TT brigade over here, slow joes wanting ridiculous all island speed limits. It's left me feeling like I want to move away lock stock and barrel.


I think we all have problems with mental health to one extreme or another, the trick is being able to talk about the issues, and it come down to how we deal with them.


I try and remain positive now, try and see the funny and humorous side to most things, keep smiling and keep telling myself we're all gonna get through this crap time, and when we do, we should all meet for a good ride out, open fire in a field, music and a really good blow out .... Take it easy everyone :thumb:

Edited by manxie49
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wish every one with problems all the best :thumb:

I’m good , always have been , covid not affected me apart from losing my dad in April from it ... but life goes on as they say .


Got an urge to go watch “One Flew over the Cuckoos nest .

 

You would probably get a lot more out of it from reading the book . The whole thing is written as if it is observed through the eyes of The Chief and goes to places that the film dosen't even touch upon .

 

Your probably right Bob , very rare is a film better than the book .

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This is like trying to compress "War and Peace" into a short paragraph.....but here goes! I've minimised the usage of complicated words with multiple syllables so you bottomfeeding, ballsucking casuals can understand it. If you can't understand it then ask a grownup!


I was born in Swansea in 1954, I had a pretty dysfunctional upbringing and always got into bother! Pretty much totally wild really! Then I progressed on to a dysfunctional first marriage. And I was still wild......anything for a laugh.


Got divorced at 28, met my second wife and settled down. The wild streak is still there.....but it's contained! Though it will resurface at any time given the right circumstances!


I've had a lifetime of facing adversity and having obstacles put in my way......and I've suffered many injustices in my life. But I don't dwell on it......it is what it is and I can't change it. So I just carry on and do what I do......the only thing that peeves me sometimes is when somebody says that I'm lucky to live where I do. Luck? What f@cking luck is this? I must have missed that shit somewhere!


The reality is I wasn't born into this, I didn't inherit this......I had to take the biggest risk of my life to do what I did in 2005. By sheer hard work and perseverance it turned out OK.......we don't live in luxury, just a modest 3/4 bedroom house on an urbanisation. And we don't want any more than that.......we're not the sort of people who think the more trappings of wealth that you have the more important a person you are.


Sometimes, growing up in difficult circumstances in a shithole like Swansea can equip you with what you need to deal with anything that life will throw at you from thereon. I've never had any family or community support to fall back or bale me out.....I've had to live on my wits all my life. Nothing has changed......and nothing will ever change!


I'm a contradiction in terms really......a very private person, but also very friendly, outgoing, loud, and brash. When I was younger nobody would go anywhere unless I went......so I got dragged along to stupid shit like horse race meetings etc because everybody kept on at me to go. We ended up jumping on some Yuppies' table and pissing in their strawberries so it wasn't a totally wasted day though. Eating Edwina Currie's gateaux in Derby? That was me! Walking bollocks naked through the foyer of Dudley Leisure Centre? Me again! Getting locked in the womens' toilets in Strensham services? It could happen to anybody! Blowing up a kiddyfiddlers car? The match slipped! I think you get the picture!


Unfortunately, insecure, low self esteem people will sometimes resent me because I'm everything they're not......but that's their hangup not mine. I couldn't give a shit really.....I don't seek the approval of others to feel better about myself.


But just let me put a disclaimer here in case people thing I'm trying to big myself up.....cos I'm not! There's only three things I can actually do......IT, Business, and riding bikes! Anything else I'm clueless! I don't know one end of a screwdriver from another, can't put a fuse in a plug, can't boil an egg. Self assembly furniture? Forget it.....I can't even open the f@cking box! Assembling kids toys? A bridge too far.....the wife did it all.


So besides the three specific skillsets of IT, Business, and riding bikes.....along with the big personality....I'm a totally useless man! I serve no purpose whatsoever! It's amazing how many women over the years (both UK and Spain) have said to the wife "How haven't you killed him yet?"


So that's me really......how I am online is the same as I am in real life. If anything I tone it down somewhat in an environment like this. And stupid shit like lockdowns don't faze me one bit......unless they stop me riding my bike!


I'll just add this cos Bob pointed out that I hadn't mentioned how I'm feeling! Well I'm fine with my life......admittedly it's frustrating having a 30 something mind in a 60 something body.....but that's the way it is.

Edited by XTreme
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Many years ago on a planet far away ...

I gave my ex everything, i rode away on a Honda CJ 250, a yellow one, and a rucksack on my back ..... gave her the house, car the lot ... because it's just stuff.

 

I did that, it was timed it so I had 24 hours to get out of the house with all my worldly processions a full car and a full allowance of 40 kg hold luggage (mostly clothes), when I went away to work 24 hours later. Not really knowing where I was going to live on my return in a couple of months.


I got left the car (with every thing of mine I could fit in it) and a boat (both valued less than 1k) she tried to take those even though she does not drive and cannot sail. The reasoning was her parents would need them to help her bring up my daughter, since I "was not going live locally or be involved in my daughters life."

 

@onesea chinup, been there wouldn't want to go back, time passes and I now no longer have to talk to the ex, light at the end of the tunnel no matter how far away it seems.

 

As I whole am better off now if some what poorer although career changed (primarily brought on by divorce) means household income now 1/3 of what it had been and lower than I have had for 20 years.


Against the odds after over a decade my daughter from being a baby in nappies to just turning into a teen has continued to want see her dad, that I am proud off. She's just gone to school and I have a dog telling me I need to take him for a walk... Life could be a lot worse....


[mention]Trooper74[/mention] and others I read your tales after typing this I nearly deleted it all made me feel humbled in my grumblings...

Good on you all and very brave of you taking on some of the challenges in the world.


Your comments makes me humbled and realise I have not got allot going on... I should just stuck to my original thoughts in this thread not the....


If I could stop a decade of problems with an X wife mine would be much better...

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