How are you feeling ?

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by Tiggie » Thu Oct 15, 2020 12:04 am

I have good days and bad. On my bad days I am just a miserable prick who can find anything to be pissed off about :oops: I came off antidepressants about 7 years ago now, To be absolutely honest I felt no difference on them but my Wife says otherwise :lol:

I am pretty good at pushing feelings out of the way and just getting on with stuff, not that its probably the best thing to do mentally but its my way of dealing with things. As an example I went in to work 2 hours after my Mums funeral a few years ago. I wasn't supposed to be in (obviously) but I think they soon understood I was staying and to let me work.

Cheers for starting this thread Bob, I might use it to bore you all with my childhood traumas rather than going to a psychiatrist :wink:
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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by gymwitch » Thu Oct 15, 2020 12:54 am

Great thread !!!

Im lucky. I have a great husband now. Lockdown hasnt really affected us. Im self employed and can zoom classes on the interwebs. We dont go out much other than on the bikes. Andy works stupidly long hours, my two blind old dogs keep me company.
I have 2 grown up sons to my ex husband who was a narcissistic sociopath. I ran away from him when i was heavily pregnant with my second son after he threatened to take a hammer to my babys head. Told him i was going to the shop after he had calmed down from one of his usual rants and never went back. He took all our clothes and belongings, photos etc... and destroyed them and left me in debt, then he died 2 years later. My relationship is strained to say the least with the lads. It cripples me. My eldest is undiagnosed Aspergers and ptsd from his afghan tour. We used to be the 3 muskateers and so very close. Now we couldnt be further apart. My childhood, early adulthood was horrendous.
I dont really have 'things' other than my bike. I could pack what i own and consider important in my tiny car.
I stay afloat annihilating myself in the gym. Its my drug. Martial arts kept me sane when i was younger, the gym and the bike keep me sane now.
I truly worry for people in this lockdown particularly those in violent and or abusive relarionships. Im lucky. Theres worse off than me.
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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by Six30 » Thu Oct 15, 2020 9:07 am

wish every one with problems all the best :thumb:
I’m good , always have been , covid not affected me apart from losing my dad in April from it ... but life goes on as they say .

Got an urge to go watch “One Flew over the Cuckoos nest .
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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by fastbob » Thu Oct 15, 2020 9:36 am

Six30 wrote:
Thu Oct 15, 2020 9:07 am
wish every one with problems all the best :thumb:
I’m good , always have been , covid not affected me apart from losing my dad in April from it ... but life goes on as they say .

Got an urge to go watch “One Flew over the Cuckoos nest .
You would probably get a lot more out of it from reading the book . The whole thing is written as if it is observed through the eyes of The Chief and goes to places that the film dosen't even touch upon .

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by manxie49 » Thu Oct 15, 2020 9:39 am

Some very poignant responses, a lot of which I can relate to. I had a really crap couple of years with my wife being diagnosed with cancer in 2018, 2020 was to be a year for travel and enjoying life then covid hit and changed everyones life.

Like trooper, I went through a period of what was thought to be PTSD after serving a lot of years in the army and serving in a couple of the worlds hot spots, then having to deal with the transition to civvy street. I dealt with it by drinking more than I should and got through with the support of my wife and friends.

Motorcycling gives me my release, just riding aimlessly, no where to go in particular just riding. Lockdown caused me some issues, I think it was due to being stuck on this rock and not being able to get away, now we have the upsurge of the anti TT brigade over here, slow joes wanting ridiculous all island speed limits. It's left me feeling like I want to move away lock stock and barrel.

I think we all have problems with mental health to one extreme or another, the trick is being able to talk about the issues, and it come down to how we deal with them.

I try and remain positive now, try and see the funny and humorous side to most things, keep smiling and keep telling myself we're all gonna get through this crap time, and when we do, we should all meet for a good ride out, open fire in a field, music and a really good blow out .... Take it easy everyone :thumb:
Last edited by manxie49 on Thu Oct 15, 2020 6:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by Six30 » Thu Oct 15, 2020 9:43 am

fastbob wrote:
Thu Oct 15, 2020 9:36 am
Six30 wrote:
Thu Oct 15, 2020 9:07 am
wish every one with problems all the best :thumb:
I’m good , always have been , covid not affected me apart from losing my dad in April from it ... but life goes on as they say .

Got an urge to go watch “One Flew over the Cuckoos nest .
You would probably get a lot more out of it from reading the book . The whole thing is written as if it is observed through the eyes of The Chief and goes to places that the film dosen't even touch upon .
Your probably right Bob , very rare is a film better than the book .
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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by XTreme » Thu Oct 15, 2020 10:00 am

This is like trying to compress "War and Peace" into a short paragraph.....but here goes! I've minimised the usage of complicated words with multiple syllables so you bottomfeeding, ballsucking casuals can understand it. If you can't understand it then ask a grownup!

I was born in Swansea in 1954, I had a pretty dysfunctional upbringing and always got into bother! Pretty much totally wild really! Then I progressed on to a dysfunctional first marriage. And I was still wild......anything for a laugh.

Got divorced at 28, met my second wife and settled down. The wild streak is still there.....but it's contained! Though it will resurface at any time given the right circumstances!

I've had a lifetime of facing adversity and having obstacles put in my way......and I've suffered many injustices in my life. But I don't dwell on it......it is what it is and I can't change it. So I just carry on and do what I do......the only thing that peeves me sometimes is when somebody says that I'm lucky to live where I do. Luck? What f@cking luck is this? I must have missed that shit somewhere!

The reality is I wasn't born into this, I didn't inherit this......I had to take the biggest risk of my life to do what I did in 2005. By sheer hard work and perseverance it turned out OK.......we don't live in luxury, just a modest 3/4 bedroom house on an urbanisation. And we don't want any more than that.......we're not the sort of people who think the more trappings of wealth that you have the more important a person you are.

Sometimes, growing up in difficult circumstances in a shithole like Swansea can equip you with what you need to deal with anything that life will throw at you from thereon. I've never had any family or community support to fall back or bale me out.....I've had to live on my wits all my life. Nothing has changed......and nothing will ever change!

I'm a contradiction in terms really......a very private person, but also very friendly, outgoing, loud, and brash. When I was younger nobody would go anywhere unless I went......so I got dragged along to stupid shit like horse race meetings etc because everybody kept on at me to go. We ended up jumping on some Yuppies' table and pissing in their strawberries so it wasn't a totally wasted day though. Eating Edwina Currie's gateaux in Derby? That was me! Walking bollocks naked through the foyer of Dudley Leisure Centre? Me again! Getting locked in the womens' toilets in Strensham services? It could happen to anybody! Blowing up a kiddyfiddlers car? The match slipped! I think you get the picture!

Unfortunately, insecure, low self esteem people will sometimes resent me because I'm everything they're not......but that's their hangup not mine. I couldn't give a shit really.....I don't seek the approval of others to feel better about myself.

But just let me put a disclaimer here in case people thing I'm trying to big myself up.....cos I'm not! There's only three things I can actually do......IT, Business, and riding bikes! Anything else I'm clueless! I don't know one end of a screwdriver from another, can't put a fuse in a plug, can't boil an egg. Self assembly furniture? Forget it.....I can't even open the f@cking box! Assembling kids toys? A bridge too far.....the wife did it all.

So besides the three specific skillsets of IT, Business, and riding bikes.....along with the big personality....I'm a totally useless man! I serve no purpose whatsoever! It's amazing how many women over the years (both UK and Spain) have said to the wife "How haven't you killed him yet?"

So that's me really......how I am online is the same as I am in real life. If anything I tone it down somewhat in an environment like this. And stupid shit like lockdowns don't faze me one bit......unless they stop me riding my bike!

I'll just add this cos Bob pointed out that I hadn't mentioned how I'm feeling! Well I'm fine with my life......admittedly it's frustrating having a 30 something mind in a 60 something body.....but that's the way it is.
Last edited by XTreme on Thu Oct 15, 2020 10:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by fastbob » Thu Oct 15, 2020 10:06 am

So how are you feeling ?

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by XTreme » Thu Oct 15, 2020 10:08 am

fastbob wrote:
Thu Oct 15, 2020 10:06 am
So how are you feeling ?
I feel fine!

Just added it to my post at the bottom.

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by onesea » Thu Oct 15, 2020 11:19 am

Trooper74 wrote:
Wed Oct 14, 2020 11:09 pm
Many years ago on a planet far away ...
I gave my ex everything, i rode away on a Honda CJ 250, a yellow one, and a rucksack on my back ..... gave her the house, car the lot ... because it's just stuff.
I did that, it was timed it so I had 24 hours to get out of the house with all my worldly processions a full car and a full allowance of 40 kg hold luggage (mostly clothes), when I went away to work 24 hours later. Not really knowing where I was going to live on my return in a couple of months.

I got left the car (with every thing of mine I could fit in it) and a boat (both valued less than 1k) she tried to take those even though she does not drive and cannot sail. The reasoning was her parents would need them to help her bring up my daughter, since I "was not going live locally or be involved in my daughters life."
Bender wrote:
Wed Oct 14, 2020 11:01 pm
@onesea chinup, been there wouldn't want to go back, time passes and I now no longer have to talk to the ex, light at the end of the tunnel no matter how far away it seems.
As I whole am better off now if some what poorer although career changed (primarily brought on by divorce) means household income now 1/3 of what it had been and lower than I have had for 20 years.

Against the odds after over a decade my daughter from being a baby in nappies to just turning into a teen has continued to want see her dad, that I am proud off. She's just gone to school and I have a dog telling me I need to take him for a walk... Life could be a lot worse....

@Trooper74 and others I read your tales after typing this I nearly deleted it all made me feel humbled in my grumblings...
Good on you all and very brave of you taking on some of the challenges in the world.

Your comments makes me humbled and realise I have not got allot going on... I should just stuck to my original thoughts in this thread not the....

If I could stop a decade of problems with an X wife mine would be much better...
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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by XTreme » Thu Oct 15, 2020 11:44 am

onesea wrote:
Thu Oct 15, 2020 11:19 am
I did that, it was timed it so I had 24 hours to get out of the house with all my worldly processions a full car and a full allowance of 40 kg hold luggage (mostly clothes), when I went away to work 24 hours later.
Lightweight!

You mean you didn't get your clothes thrown up the drive and had to sleep rough for 3 weeks in Winter 1982? :lol:

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by mthinesy » Thu Oct 15, 2020 12:03 pm

I've hit the wall today, for sure. I have a very long back story. My life is controlled by anxiety these last few years, rather than a lingering depression.

Anyway, I think this second phase of the virus is really getting to me too. I live in Manchester, Belfast is home, so do struggle with being stuck over here at the moment. The uncertainty of it all is really overwhelming.

I decided to get my motorbike licence after a failed attempt in my twenties, to give me something to focus on, hence why I am on this forum.

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by Bender » Thu Oct 15, 2020 12:06 pm

@mthinesy focus on the positives it appears bikes are a common support mechanism 👍
Bite my shiny metal ass..

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by mthinesy » Thu Oct 15, 2020 12:07 pm

Bender wrote:
Thu Oct 15, 2020 12:06 pm
@mthinesy focus on the positives it appears bikes are a common support mechanism 👍
Very much so. It's been mountain biking for most of my adult life, although it often got put on hold too often.

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by goat » Thu Oct 15, 2020 12:17 pm

I'm generally ok. Lived with depression for a long time now and I'm not the most confident of people, lost a lot of friends along the way by being generally spikey and difficult or just going silent when I was struggling. These days I know my triggers and am better at coping. Realistically I have it pretty good, lovely partner, nice place to live and the like. Current job is my only real issue, so covid lockdown was a welcome distancing from it, although I was still working throughout. I'm well aware it's up to me to change the things I don't like so busily applying for other things. When things get a bit much then making something or going for a ride is my catharsis.
Certainly I wish everyone here all the best, people have been through a hell of a lot worse than I ever have so I shouldn't be complaining about anything really.
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