How are you feeling ?

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Bender
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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by Bender » Thu Oct 15, 2020 8:28 pm

We are all products of our history be that good or bad, the future can always be different.

@XTreme I did have a contact in the establishment but unfortunately they retired so it is possible, just very hard to find someone willing and able to take the risks in an unofficial search.
Bite my shiny metal ass..

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by Six30 » Thu Oct 15, 2020 8:31 pm

Fook me @fastbob what have you started... chatting and and having a laugh on here and light hearted piss taking
" i know that's my only input " you dont realize other peoples issues and problems they are having or had. Respect to all of you for opening up & sharing :thumb:
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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by XTreme » Thu Oct 15, 2020 8:37 pm

Bender wrote:
Thu Oct 15, 2020 8:28 pm
We are all products of our history be that good or bad, the future can always be different.

@XTreme I did have a contact in the establishment but unfortunately they retired so it is possible, just very hard to find someone willing and able to take the risks in an unofficial search.
Yeh.....that's the problem. I don't want anybody to put themselves at risk by doing it.

I also scan Facebook relentlessly but still nothing shows up for any of them.......which is worrying considering their age.

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by S-Westerly » Thu Oct 15, 2020 8:39 pm

Somehow when you hear about someone else's absolutely horrible experiences your own issues become considerably more insignificant and you realise quite how lucky you are and should stop whining and just get on with your (pretty damned good) life. Thanks a lot to some of you - I think.
Back in the blue. No bikes.....

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by NeilM » Thu Oct 15, 2020 8:50 pm

S-Westerly wrote:
Thu Oct 15, 2020 8:39 pm
Somehow when you hear about someone else's absolutely horrible experiences your own issues become considerably more insignificant and you realise quite how lucky you are and should stop whining and just get on with your (pretty damned good) life. Thanks a lot to some of you - I think.
Nobody's issues are insignificant to them though.
A lot of people's problems stem from an initial issue which to the outside world appears really minor.
But for them its a major problem/worry which escalates in their head.

There's a saying "have you been shot? Are you dying"
If the anwers no. You are told to crack on......

But we dont live in them times anymore and i think as a society we need to realise that for whole generations we created a mental health time bomb.

And yes I've used the exact question as stated.. so even those who are now preaching openess are also to blame.

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by bonio » Thu Oct 15, 2020 9:07 pm

Reading this thread close to tears.
Great respect for each one of you.
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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by Mr Fro » Thu Oct 15, 2020 10:05 pm

Interesting thread Bob, thanks for starting it.

Reading what's been said has made me think about a lot of things that have happened in my life.

I did start typing it all out but realised that a) no one really wants to hear that shite, b) the only people who know some of it is wife and those involved. Thus, if anyone else I knew read certain bits then there would be quite serious issues. Finally, c) I don't think I would actually get anything constructive from it so I'll keep what's happened in the past and leave it locked away in a box somewhere at the back of my mind.

Maybe that makes me strong or weak, who knows but hats off to you for sharing your stories. :thumb:

Certainly I can say that now I have children I find some of my past stuff incomprehensible and can only resolve to keep them out of harm's way and do my best to make sure they know that they are loved without question.

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by rennie » Thu Oct 15, 2020 10:47 pm

NeilM wrote:
Thu Oct 15, 2020 8:05 pm
One of the things i struggle with is this:
Do other people know i have issues?
Is it obvious?
Etc etc.

Just symptoms of a little paranoia but can become quite debilitating at times.

But then you hide it for years. Which ofcourse makes it worse.
Since being relatively open about it (i certainly don't shout it from the rooftops) i have found it so much easier.

On another serious note.
If anyone does wish to talk. Im not difficult to get hold of and are more than willing to help in any way.

I certainly didn't notice anything Neil! (ok there was beer involved so I probably didn't notice much anyway :lol: )

I'm available to talk too if anyone feels the need!

Although I do have a fear of saying the wrong thing and possibly making things worse! :lol:
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Bender
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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by Bender » Thu Oct 15, 2020 11:23 pm

rennie wrote:
Thu Oct 15, 2020 10:47 pm
NeilM wrote:
Thu Oct 15, 2020 8:05 pm
One of the things i struggle with is this:
Do other people know i have issues?
Is it obvious?
Etc etc.

Just symptoms of a little paranoia but can become quite debilitating at times.

But then you hide it for years. Which ofcourse makes it worse.
Since being relatively open about it (i certainly don't shout it from the rooftops) i have found it so much easier.

On another serious note.
If anyone does wish to talk. Im not difficult to get hold of and are more than willing to help in any way.

I certainly didn't notice anything Neil! (ok there was beer involved so I probably didn't notice much anyway :lol: )

I'm available to talk too if anyone feels the need!

Although I do have a fear of saying the wrong thing and possibly making things worse! :lol:
I definitely won't put myself forward for talking to people, Def don't call me, it's not that I don't like talking I do, just not really to other people, it just never seems to go the way it's supposed to in my head.
Bite my shiny metal ass..

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by NeilM » Fri Oct 16, 2020 12:21 am

Bender wrote:
Thu Oct 15, 2020 11:23 pm
rennie wrote:
Thu Oct 15, 2020 10:47 pm
NeilM wrote:
Thu Oct 15, 2020 8:05 pm
One of the things i struggle with is this:
Do other people know i have issues?
Is it obvious?
Etc etc.

Just symptoms of a little paranoia but can become quite debilitating at times.

But then you hide it for years. Which ofcourse makes it worse.
Since being relatively open about it (i certainly don't shout it from the rooftops) i have found it so much easier.

On another serious note.
If anyone does wish to talk. Im not difficult to get hold of and are more than willing to help in any way.

I certainly didn't notice anything Neil! (ok there was beer involved so I probably didn't notice much anyway :lol: )

I'm available to talk too if anyone feels the need!

Although I do have a fear of saying the wrong thing and possibly making things worse! :lol:
I definitely won't put myself forward for talking to people, Def don't call me, it's not that I don't like talking I do, just not really to other people, it just never seems to go the way it's supposed to in my head.
Bizarrely i suppose.
I am a level 2 mental health first aider now.
Whatever the fxxx that means.

Through work.
I guess my plant manager thought i was maybe the best person for the job..... ha haha.

See I'm the other way.
I have verbal diarrhea. To the point where my own Dr tells me to shut up!

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by Old-codger » Fri Oct 16, 2020 7:57 am

Can I just mention as we are talking about our health and mortality if you havnt made a will go and make one. Like everyone I had been putting it off for years and never got round to it but my health has worsened this year and what with covid lurking about I got my arse in gear and made a will. It doesnt cost much and some places you can get it done for free or a small donation. You get to say where your finances and belongings go to and it saves a lot of hassle for loved ones left behind sorting things out at a difficult time. Also if you have any pensions update your expression of wishes to who gets it when your gone.

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by KiwiBob » Fri Oct 16, 2020 1:28 pm

Today is a bad day for me. I have shed many tears! .. A very good friend of mine has just told me that she has terminal cancer and that this Christmas, if she makes it, will be her last.

She is so strong and brave and has been an inspiration to so many people during her life.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by The GOAT » Fri Oct 16, 2020 3:50 pm

Ok my year in a nutshell,

I lost my Auntie due to heart issues at the beginning of this year and last year my mum got diagnosed with terminal cancer and said she may not make the year (I’ve seen her twice due to covid) – This has caused massive stress and anxiety for me to say the least.

On top of that I’ve had 2 nasty Vertigo attacks which have taken months to get over, side effects being the ability to walk normally, really clouded head, extremely tired and so I can’t think to process anything which is adding to my stress and anxiety.

Just before lockdown I sadly split from my Wife (Married 18 years). It was a shitty time to do this, but I really needed my space and to try to process everything that was going on in my life, Very difficult to walk away and not see my Daughter or doggies for 3 months!

I had sold everything I owned to fund my wife and our daughter during lockdown as I was paying all the bills plus my own rent and bills for my new temporary accommodation which put a lot of strain on my finances especially with furlough.

I’ve also been having allergic reactions to something. Top lip, bottom lip, cheeks! I’m putting it down to stress, but it could be anything. It’s been impossible to seek NHS help as you would expect given the current situation, we’re all facing and it’s only now I can try to seek help.
Work wise, it’s hard living in the lakes at the moment, swarms of tourists of a new staycation era means a lot of people don’t give a sh*t about anything which makes the job very hard and demanding, plus a reduced income.

I feel, extremely tired, I can’t really ride (Cycling or Motorcycling) which was my mental break from life. Lots of stress and anxiety on a daily basis. Never been depressed and I do always try to find the light at the end of the tunnel!

I’ll keep cracking on in the meantime.
Skynet-T800

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by Bianco2564 » Fri Oct 16, 2020 4:11 pm

With regards to covid I'd say I'm coping quite well.
As I'm in a medium risk group I've been taking precautions from day one wearing masks, hand sanitizer etc when out shopping, also Mrs B has been on my case for social distancing. I was furloughed for 4.5 months from mid March which took some getting used to being at home all that time but me and OH got on with it and did a load of jobs around the home. I was slightly concerned as time went by and some of my team went back to work ( I'm a supervisor of a group of 8) and I didn't get the call up that would my job be safe? Then redundancies were announced, about 15% of the workforce were going, I had an anxious Monday waiting for a phone call but it never came. We are in the fortunate position of no mortgage ,no debts and reasonably secure with pension and assets so if I did get laid off I could take early retirement at a push. At worst I'd find a easy job nearer home for a couple more years until I hit 60. But for now I'm going to just carry on with work and see how it all pans out.

What does cause me stress, is the reason I'm in a medium risk group is I have a kidney disease called IGA nephritis, something in my blood causing a gradual blocking of the kidneys. Nothing can be done to stop it, just slow it down by keeping my blood pressure under control and diet management.
Ultimately I will need dialysis or transplant which isn't too far away, I'm currently at 19% kidney capacity and undergoing what the docs call "working up" to the next stage of treatment. Mrs has said she will be a donor for me, we are not a match but you can do a paired or 3 way swap with other people in the same boat. I'm really grateful for her offering this but worry about the risk she would be at for this major surgery.
She's also said if I had a transplant I should give up riding as the donor kidney is fitted in your side below the protection of the rib cage, she thinks if I came off the bike it would vulnerable the injury which is a fair point. She has said I can have a better car, as if the M3 isn't enough 8-)
Add to that my Grandad, uncle and Mum all died from cancer and my older brother has Myeloma ,that's always at the back of my mind. :(

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Re: How are you feeling ?

Post by mthinesy » Fri Oct 16, 2020 4:28 pm

@MarkW I read your story, really had an impact.

I can relate to your comments on being friendly with everyone and no friends with anyone. Granted, I'm looking at that from a totally different angle altogether. I turned 38 last week and I feel now that I'm in this existence on my own and that as you say, nobody really has your back. I was never close to my dad, and now I've been living away from home for over 6 years we haven't got closer. My mum was diagnosed with Dementia pretty much as I left and that is really tough to deal with. Daily guilt. Should I go home and help more? I lost my first grand parent last October and he was my father figure. I still haven't dealt with it.

Biking is a lonely hobby really, maybe that's part of the attraction.

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